Browsing All Posts published on »May, 2009«

And on the seventh day…..She rest.

May 31, 2009

14

Hardly. Rest is something that didn’t come my way today. And I can’t figure out if I’ve intentionally filled my day with activities or if that is the way life dealt my hand today, this gray turned sunny Sunday, the final day of rest in May 2009. The morning started fairly early, around 8am, when […]

Acceptance

May 30, 2009

22

Went to San Diego last night with a short request list. That Kai Bleeze, my oldest dearest friend on this earth, not get fucked up while I stay down there. This request seemed small, seemed as though it was an appropriate thing to ask. But many things over the past 48 hours have proved quite […]

CHP

May 29, 2009

18

After the mini meltdown yesterday, I decided it might be a good time for a little San Diego retreat, a getaway, but not in my typical runaway fashion. This time I told people I’m leaving, told Jill, Duncan, my sponsor, told everyone that would wonder where I went if I happened to disappear, which is […]

Meltdown

May 28, 2009

22

Where are we? What the hell is going on? The dust has only just begun to fall, Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling. Spin me round again and rub my eyes. This can’t be happening. When busy streets a mess with people would stop to hold their heads heavy. For some reason, things have […]

A Surprising Turn of Events

May 27, 2009

24

Another interesting day. To say the least. I may as well start with the beginning of the day, the opening of the self, and my mouth, then bring it all the way to the close of the day, this precise moment, the now and present. Here we go. Why do I feel like I’m confessing? […]

Cheers

May 26, 2009

17

Something about today’s afternoon meeting put me in the right mood. Even though I drove there, and normally walk because the time before and after lets me pump up and cool down, the honest shares within the confining space of four small walls can be heavy, even though I have been feeling as though I […]

Another phone update

May 25, 2009

10

Ten minutes before the meeting begins, and of course I will share what I went through yesterday, although it may not be the appropriate place to discuss the sex stuff, I will share parts of that. When I said yesterday that my alcoholism is an effect of my sex addiction, I wasn’t rationalizing my next drink. […]

Nap Time

May 24, 2009

12

Another lovely day in LA, a beautiful Sunday on Memorial Day weekend, and I find myself staying away from my usual Memorial hangouts, like the beach, or dive bar, or a dive bar at the beach. In place of these haunts I’ve been doing all outer circle activities, which is part of my SAA program, […]

Welcome to the Barbershop, would you like a haircut?

May 23, 2009

14

Saturday night in Hollywood. The streets are buzzing with life, strangers walk from street corner to street corner bumping into each other, carelessly unaware of the feet that have traveled the same path before them. Girls in short dresses that are more in line with belts, stumbling into the arms of men with iron crosses […]

The Funny Thing About Comedy

May 22, 2009

17

There were a couple things that went terribly wrong last night. Perhaps not wrong in terms of “right” and “wrong,” and Jilly Beans is trying to help me view the world in different terms, saying right and wrong allows for nothing in between, such as the beautiful shades of gray illuminating all our lives, but […]

Long night ahead….

May 21, 2009

14

So originally, Sam Tripoli and I had been planning a Naughty Comedy show at the Improv back in April. Due to the fact I entered into rehab, and of course that the rehab was in fact for sex addiction, it seemed inappropriate to bring the fellow rehabians to this Naughty show, that is all about […]

Sharing, Laughing, and Humping

May 20, 2009

19

What a busy and meeting filled day. I’ll start at the beginning, and when I get to where I am sitting on my couch writing this, I will stop. But as per my usual habit, I doubt anything in between the beginning and this present moment will happen just as it occurred, and as per […]

The Slippery Slope that is Sex and Love Addiction

May 19, 2009

31

It started today with a few sexualized comments after my 2:30 meeting in Hollywood. And what initially seemed harmless allowed me to plough forward into what can only be described as the bowel movements of sex addiction. For some reason, today, I lost all concept of time, lost control of where my mind went, and […]

Gateway to the Universe or Portal to Hell

May 19, 2009

16

Today was another fantastic day. Well, there were some bumps, most definitely, but not like the scary kind you find on your private parts after a drunken stupid night with a stranger you met at the bar, but like little speed bumps that slow you down on the residential street of your day. My day […]

Great way to start your sunday

May 17, 2009

20

After a late night at the Ipmrov, watching as Phil Varone led the crowd through a series of comics, some very funny, some not so much, and after sitting next to a very curious boy (if 32 is still considered a boy) who laughed when I laughed, and stopped when I did- a very strange […]

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