Browsing All Posts published on »September, 2009«

An unlikely sequence of events (part 2)

September 29, 2009

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Something about taking the ferry from NJ to NYC makes me feel like a pirate. Like I’ve left the old world behind in search of treasures untold, like I’m free to take the city by my hands, rape the scenery and tall buildings with my eyes, take New York on as my own. Los Angeles […]

An unlikely sequence of events

September 28, 2009

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It all started with a breakdown. A kiss hello from Mr. Marcus and Sean Michaels. It all started with touchdown, and then lift off. Newark NJ, down to the shore, up to Edison, and off into New York. It all started with a yes, a hello, and a goodbye. It started, in me. Newark airport […]

Murderous Tendencies

September 23, 2009

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The alarm went off and I hit it. Threw it across the room. Saucy snuggled in and I looked at her like she has done something wrong, like it is a bad thing her big blue cranium fits perfectly in the crook of my arm. When I finally rolled out of bed at 10am, I […]

The Ice Cream is not the same

September 21, 2009

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Remember how I said that yesterday, my Ben and Jerry’s sat on the kitchen counter and melted while I watched the Giants/Cowboys game? Well, it sat in the freezer to refreeze, and this afternoon, at this present moment, it is just not the same as it once was. I tried it. And I am not […]

First week, complete…

September 20, 2009

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After the first full week of no smoking, changes have already started to occur, things like my lung capacity, my sense of smell, the awareness to those around me smoking. Especially those in my apartment complex. Especially those nearest my own windows who happen to be smoking near their windows and whose smoke happens to […]

Stop looking in the mirror

September 18, 2009

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When I was very young, enrolled in dance, the best part of class always seemed to occur in front of a wall of mirrors. Each wall, covered in mirrors, held the reflection of tiny little dancers, moving about ever so awkwardly on toes, and fumbling turns and leaps. These walls had watched young dancers such […]

Patch Dreams

September 16, 2009

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I think the best thing about wearing the patch is the dreams. I remember this from last time I quit, the most vivid and lucid dreams I’ve ever had, full of colors and feelings and textures. And the memories in the morning are overwhelming, as if I’ve been up all night actually doing the things […]

Back on Day 2

September 15, 2009

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I feel as though I am starting all over again. With this recovery thing. I mean, no, I didn’t relapse, and no I didn’t go out and have meaningless sex with as many people as humanly possible (seeing as how I’ve already done that and it took over 12 years I don’t think I could […]

It’s 4am…do you know where your kids are?

September 13, 2009

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The kids of LA have been playing at the Vanguard all night, dancing to house DJ’s while rolling their faces off on E. The young adults of this city filled with angels were also there, also on drugs, sweating profusely, bumping into each other and falling over entirely. Even some of the matured adults stumbled […]

Sexual Inventory

September 11, 2009

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I know my life is improving because it is becoming very full. I don’t like to use phrases like “I’m busy” or “I’ve had a really busy day” or “lead a busy life” because there is something in the word “busy” implicative of not having time for people, or things I care about. So I’m […]

LA Lights really do make you run faster

September 9, 2009

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When I was a nine, these awesome new shoes hit the streets with the red blinking LED lights in the heels. Each step would brighten the world behind you, and whenever I tried them on in shoe stores, it was necessary to run up and down the aisles as fast as possible to make sure […]

True to Form….

September 2, 2009

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As a true addict, I have the uncanny ability to overdo anything I enjoy doing. Whether it is yoga, drinking, drugs or sex, if I fall in love with an activity, and it gets me out of my head for 5 minutes, I will do it for 1,440 minutes a day. Well, minus the minutes […]

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