Browsing All Posts filed under »Beautiful Days«

Winding Down

December 28, 2012

43

As we move forward in life and these years wind down, I find myself – perhaps typically – nostalgic and pensive about the present, past and future. The past year has been a roller coaster of life. Births and deaths, triumphs and well… non-triumphs. And all through it I am grateful to have remained sober. […]

Missing and Action:

November 27, 2012

75

Yes. I know. It has been quite some time since the last post. I have not fallen off the face of the earth, which I’ve heard is a physical impossibility, unless of course, I am circling in earth’s orbit, which means, of course, that I have — in fact — catapulted myself off of the […]

Walking (In the Sunlight)

October 28, 2012

45

Today and this past week were particularly spectacular. I had the honor and pleasure of visiting my little brother, who is dealing with some very similar issues to my own, and the joy of reuniting with an old girl friend who is both sober and “retired.” One of those incredible weeks you begin to think […]

Dog Shit in the Kitchen

October 16, 2012

47

Sometimes I am selfish and go to sleep without letting Saucy out for a final pee or poo. Last night’s selfishness manifest itself into a giant dog shit in the kitchen, which inevitably leads back to me, to my failure to let her out and my selfishness in choosing to go to bed over choosing […]

Help Me Decide! Excerpt for Literary Death Match…

October 9, 2012

33

Just checking in to do a quick poll and get everyone’s input. I’m reading an excerpt from “I am Jennie” tonight in a Literary Death Match at Largo in Los Angeles (link provided below). I have seven minutes to WOW the judges and audience, and pummel my literary competitor into the ground. I have a […]

“And The Day Came…”

October 4, 2012

32

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” - Anaïs Nin A day came, and the risk was to remain tight or blossom. What an interesting dichotomy. I’m sure I’ve written about this quote at some point in my blogging career, […]

Fear and Finances: Change vs. Shifts

September 7, 2012

69

I’m currently in the middle of a new 4th step and am once again bewildered by the fears that have come up. The first time around, I wrote them out and many of them were so irrational that I had to let them go. Of course, many of those irrational fears still loom above my […]

Lighting up the Sky

August 31, 2012

71

“Even After All this time The Sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me.” Look what happens With a love like that, It lights the whole sky.” A quote by the Sufi poet, Hafiz, from a friend (many thanks for this day opener). The day began with a friend and a text message. Yesterday […]

Nick of Time

August 24, 2012

55

I was going to write a post about how I got out of the industry in the nick of time, but really, this recent syphilis outbreak is no different than any of the other things. Plenty of people work knowing (or at least suspecting) they will have dirty tests come the next round. There were […]

Would You Still Write?

August 20, 2012

48

“Have you ever thought about who you would be without the fame, the porn, the past? Would you still write? Maybe model with clothes on? Maybe be a UCLA student?” An incredible question from Bubbha the Texas Man, and an incredible prompt for the day and the end of summer. What would have happened had […]

Commitment

August 13, 2012

55

I need to make a solid commitment to and at this blog. Just like I bring the literature in one of my women’s meetings each week, it’s important that I begin updating this space regularly. Not simply because it is good to regularly update a regularly updated blog, but because I know this kind of […]

Add New

August 2, 2012

66

“If you bring out what is in you, what you bring out will save you. If you fail to bring out what is inside you, what you fail to bring out will destroy you.” from the Gnostic Gospel of St. Thomas via Brendan (many thanks for this…) The day begins with coffee and a swivel […]

Release the Kraken

July 12, 2012

108

The book released two days ago. I haven’t thrown up on a single person/thing or in a single inappropriate place. I haven’t even thrown up in an appropriate place. Stomach contents have stayed content. Wonderful feelings really. Absolutely wonderful. Wonderful feelings mixed with paralyzing fear, that melts back into surreal wondrousity. Yup. Made up a […]

Nerves: The Watery Mouth, Wait, I’m Going to Barf, Feeling.

July 9, 2012

91

Racked with nerves. Trying desperately to remain unattached. I am not going to read any reviews lest I may believe all of them. Bullshit. Already read one. It was good. Still don’t want to believe it because if that review is right then so are the ones that will say it is bad, which I’m […]

Coming Home

July 4, 2012

27

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