Browsing All Posts filed under »Recovery Days«

5 Years

April 29, 2014

26

Today marks the five year anniversary of my very first post on BecomingJennie. It’s hard to believe that five years have passed. It seems it’s just as difficult to know where to end as it was to know how to begin. I suppose, like anything, I simply should start at the beginning.   April 6th, […]

Winding Down

December 28, 2012

111

As we move forward in life and these years wind down, I find myself – perhaps typically – nostalgic and pensive about the present, past and future. The past year has been a roller coaster of life. Births and deaths, triumphs and well… non-triumphs. And all through it I am grateful to have remained sober. […]

Walking (In the Sunlight)

October 28, 2012

45

Today and this past week were particularly spectacular. I had the honor and pleasure of visiting my little brother, who is dealing with some very similar issues to my own, and the joy of reuniting with an old girl friend who is both sober and “retired.” One of those incredible weeks you begin to think […]

Dog Shit in the Kitchen

October 16, 2012

48

Sometimes I am selfish and go to sleep without letting Saucy out for a final pee or poo. Last night’s selfishness manifest itself into a giant dog shit in the kitchen, which inevitably leads back to me, to my failure to let her out and my selfishness in choosing to go to bed over choosing […]

Help Me Decide! Excerpt for Literary Death Match…

October 9, 2012

33

Just checking in to do a quick poll and get everyone’s input. I’m reading an excerpt from “I am Jennie” tonight in a Literary Death Match at Largo in Los Angeles (link provided below). I have seven minutes to WOW the judges and audience, and pummel my literary competitor into the ground. I have a […]

“And The Day Came…”

October 4, 2012

32

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” - Anaïs Nin A day came, and the risk was to remain tight or blossom. What an interesting dichotomy. I’m sure I’ve written about this quote at some point in my blogging career, […]

Checking In

September 21, 2012

33

Mentally: Exhausted. Being sick is exhausting. Missing school, work and internship creates backlog of mental work regarding the needs-to-be-done pile. Reassessment to come next post. Physically: HA! Finally went to school and had energy to study. So I overdid it and am back home feeling like doodoo. *sheesh* Emotionally: Lots of feelings come up with […]

Sick Girl

September 17, 2012

34

Sick sick sick. Ugh. So sick that I couldn’t muster the strength to write the Friday post, which induced shame for not fulfilling my commitments. Which incited guilt about “taking it easy” and “not pushing too hard,” which inspired exhaustion and led me to sleeping on the couch all day. Being a human is very […]

Fear and Finances: Change vs. Shifts

September 7, 2012

70

I’m currently in the middle of a new 4th step and am once again bewildered by the fears that have come up. The first time around, I wrote them out and many of them were so irrational that I had to let them go. Of course, many of those irrational fears still loom above my […]

Lighting up the Sky

August 31, 2012

71

“Even After All this time The Sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me.” Look what happens With a love like that, It lights the whole sky.” A quote by the Sufi poet, Hafiz, from a friend (many thanks for this day opener). The day began with a friend and a text message. Yesterday […]

Nick of Time

August 24, 2012

55

I was going to write a post about how I got out of the industry in the nick of time, but really, this recent syphilis outbreak is no different than any of the other things. Plenty of people work knowing (or at least suspecting) they will have dirty tests come the next round. There were […]

Would You Still Write?

August 20, 2012

48

“Have you ever thought about who you would be without the fame, the porn, the past? Would you still write? Maybe model with clothes on? Maybe be a UCLA student?” An incredible question from Bubbha the Texas Man, and an incredible prompt for the day and the end of summer. What would have happened had […]

Commitment

August 13, 2012

56

I need to make a solid commitment to and at this blog. Just like I bring the literature in one of my women’s meetings each week, it’s important that I begin updating this space regularly. Not simply because it is good to regularly update a regularly updated blog, but because I know this kind of […]

Add New

August 2, 2012

66

“If you bring out what is in you, what you bring out will save you. If you fail to bring out what is inside you, what you fail to bring out will destroy you.” from the Gnostic Gospel of St. Thomas via Brendan (many thanks for this…) The day begins with coffee and a swivel […]

Dark Roast and Finger Puppets

July 18, 2012

157

New bag of coffee from Costco, the Kirkland Dark Roast to replace the Peet’s I so obnoxiously demanded we drink each morning. Turns out the stuff gets under my skin and makes my feet and fingers move just the same, and is about one-third the price. Constantly re-evaluating my financial choices, and knowing that I’ll […]

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 8,505 other followers