Browsing All Posts filed under »Terrible No Good Very Bad Days«

Life and Death..

August 15, 2010

39

A very full couple of weeks filled with both life and death, leaving me gasping for air, trying to remain present and authentic. Authenticity remains difficult for me, allowing myself to grieve when I need to grieve and not try to cover it all up with smiles and “I’m fine.” This is my first experience, […]

Various Updates

January 25, 2010

50

I’ve been working on my memoir for quite some time now, writing and rewriting, trying to polish the three of four chapters I need to submit with the proposal, and while I’m feeling good about certain parts, I have to admit I’ve taken on a huge task in what I plan to do with the […]

And in a moment, everything changes.

June 30, 2009

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There was no clue last night that would have led me to believe when I awoke this morning, life would be changed, and the changes made would be irrevocable. There was no little voice in my head saying “Be careful tomorrow, something big is going to happen” or “Get some rest because you will need […]

A Lesson in Humility

June 3, 2009

27

After yesterday, any day would do. I take that back. I must stop living in a yesterday, or a tomorrow, because for as shitty as today also turned out to be, there is one little gem that made me smile, right before I sat down to write this. It started early morning with my regular […]

Staying Out of the Results

June 2, 2009

22

I don’t feel like writing. I don’t feel like talking. I feel like all day, meeting after meeting (two today, one SAA, one AA and then the beginning of the big book with my sponsor), conversations with my mother, father, sister, Duncan, E-Deezy, every fucking body on this planet who gives a fuck, I feel […]

Need Anything at Every Given Moment, Someone Loved That Hate I Am

June 1, 2009

41

It was a seemingly innocent question that almost sent me into a rage at the counter while purchasing Saucerton’s new dog food and Sensei’s kitty food this morning in Studio City. A question that’s asked a million times throughout our days, and I’ve always wondered how many people are actually honest in the response, knowing […]

Acceptance

May 30, 2009

22

Went to San Diego last night with a short request list. That Kai Bleeze, my oldest dearest friend on this earth, not get fucked up while I stay down there. This request seemed small, seemed as though it was an appropriate thing to ask. But many things over the past 48 hours have proved quite […]

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