Pleaaaaasssssse go potty

Posted on May 9, 2009


I’ve tried walking her around the block, 6 times in fact. I’ve tried walking up the giant hill and back down, 3 times, and still nothing. The managers have even said it’s okay if I let her off the leash in the common area, because maybe she doesn’t like taking a dump while tied up. And nothing. No shit. Literally. And I can’t say I blame her. I don’t even like being tied up let alone being tied up while I try to take a dump.
This is a fairly simple problem and suppose I suffer from the same problem, although it manifest itself and cures differently. Sometimes it takes me days to work up my bowels for a crappy performance. And I never have to shit while cars and motorcycles drive by, with people honking, passers by laughing and of course myself saying “go potty” in frustration. I have it easy. I take some laxatives at 9pm, have an internal explosion somewhere around 6am, and it’s green team go.
But I know as soon as I walk into my apartment, leave her to go eat dinner, she’s going to take a huge dump right in the entryway, and possibly have a great time rolling around in it, at which point I will come home to a shitty dog and home. But here is when the serenity prayer comes into play, or at least that’s what my sponsor says.
Gravity, grant me the serenity to accept the fact my dog will not shit, the courage not to go ballistic when she shits in the house and the wisdom to know how to train the distracted bitch to shit on command in front of all Hollywood.
Looks like an hour n a half later after the initial shitty attempt, it’s gonna be an inside shit, and a 409 night.

Posted in: Days