I am not one to step on toes, and tonight, its possible I accidently trampled some. Certainly not with any cruel intent, no malicious or mean spirited foot stomping, but tonight’s events lead me to believe that this may have not been the best decision ever. Sometimes, doing the right thing just isn’t the right thing.
My good friend’s band was playing and I agreed to go see and support him. It’s a punk band, and as he is an artist and a musician, we naturally connect on the homie tip. Actually, I really like the cat, have great conversations with him, and am constantly inspired by his creativity….I’m even a little hopeful that some of it will rub off on me. He has a lady and that’s good by me because I’m not really trying to date anyone, especially someone who is already involved. But on the friend tip, we are all good, and part of my personal journey through recovery is being able to show up when I say I will, and supporting the people I care about. Tonight, well, that just didn’t happen.
I left my house at 10:30 to go watch him play at 11. Now, he was doing a show down in the gheeeettttts, like mad hoodish, and I couldn’t find the place, did a couple u-turns, even got a little worried that if a cop rolled by me they’d think I was out buying drugs because there is almost no reason for a woman like me to be driving in this neighborhood in my car at this hour, alone, other than to cop dope. No dope for me, just trying to find my buddies band. Finally found the spot, it was loosely packed, outdoors, smoking area, I’m all good. Nice big parking lot – I brought Saucerton just in case I needed her to eat strangers – I stop the vehicle and head into the bar. $5 cover, no problem, more than willing to support local artists. Have to spend $20 if you are going to use your card, no problem, I have water in the car. Now, where is my boy?
I find him, he introduces me to his lady and two friends, and I head out to get my water. I come back and the couple doesn’t look to pleased. In fact, his lady looks pissed, and homie won’t talk to me. Strange. I stand in the back of the crowd, listening to the band before his play, waiting for him to go up. He follows his lady out, follows her back in. They sit down away from me, I’m digging the music so still no problem. 45 minutes pass and I’m ready to go. The kids in the crowd are starting to feel the booze and mosh, I’m starting to feel uncomfortable and leave. I text him sorry, this didn’t feel right, and head back to Hollywood a little butthurt that I gave up my primo parking spot. Fortunately, when you do the right thing, like show up to your friends gig, feel uncomfortable, and leave, sometimes, the parking gods are looking out for you and provide you with a spot even closer. In any case….
I feel like my being there caused drama between him and his chick. Maybe there was shit going down before I walked in, maybe it all went away when I walked out, maybe it was nothing and my super sober sense was off, but something in my stomach told me that this is not a good situation and in order to remain safe and sane, I must remove myself immediately. I really hope that my spider like senses were off, and that I was just trippin, but I have a feeling that I’ll get the whole story tomorrow…which should be interesting. Anyway, that 45 minutes was the most awkward experience ever. Dot. Com.
On a side note, Mr. Cute is back from the desert, he’s been shooting a movie for the past month and a half, and I’ve been chatting a bit with him. He is still very cute, and sweet as ever, and it just amazes me how people can dip in and out of your life and if you are present and aware when they leave, when they return, the same thoughts and feelings can run through your head as the day they left. Like no time passed. Pick up right where we left off. Interesting.
I have a photo shoot tomorrow, doing headshots and some glam stuff for a girlfriend of mine. Non nude. The first time being photographed professionally as Jennie Ketcham. Should be fun. I’ll make sure to post a couple here somewhere once they are done.
I need to go to bed. Only sleep will wash this uncomfortable night from me….let me start fresh.