I’ve been reading through my journal, a journal I kept while traveling around Europe this time last year, and it appears as though I’ve had a great adventure, and adventure so big, and so grand, that I’ve managed to forget most of it. Whether due to extreme alcohol consumption, hashish cigarettes, or plain selective memory, I had forgotten just how much fun I had, and how lonely I was.
Isn’t it amazing? How our minds can remember things we want to remember and block the things we don’t? Like when we break up with someone, how afterwards, all I seem to think of is how great it was, how much fun we had. Very rarely do I remember the exact reasons why the relationship ended, very rarely am I able to experience those emotions as I did while they were happening. Perhaps that is why I try to revisit certain relationships, even when I’ve ended them, I have a tendency of trying to reignite a flame that just isn’t there. Thank god for journals, for the internet, and memories I’ve recorded. I’m afraid that if I hadn’t done so, all would be lost, and I’d be in the same place.
It’s incredibly important for me to remember how it once was. How I came to this place, this current place of fresh air and new life, and just how far I’ve had to travel to be here. That phrase, about those forgetful of the past are doomed to repeat it, never felt so true. Like that YouTube video of me, my journals represent a life that while I enjoyed, I do not wish to revisit.
This blog may not be updated as much as I would like, because I am taking some serious time to write my memoir, such an exciting adventure this writing thing. I think it will be very positive for me, because it not only helps me remember the past, it will let me relive the memories that are stuffed deep inside, so that perhaps, I may not make the same mistakes in the future.