I just watched the online premier of “Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew,” I’m a little apprehensive about the entire thing, for obvious reasons. Not that my personal issues are going to be broadcast all over the nation, I’m kind of already doing that with this blog, but to be honest, and entirely ego driven, I was worried about how I looked. Ever since I quit using drugs, my body has been going through insane changes. From weight loss (turns out the calories I drank every day packed my cheeks like a squirrel), to skin problems (I currently seem to be flushing out every bad thing I ever put in my body, even after 6+ months of not using), I’m experiencing serious changes that I can sometimes feel, but wanted to watch to compare, how I looked then, to how I looked now.
Then: Dark circles around eyes, puffy cheeks, puffy body, obviously drinking too much and smoking too much weed. Eyeballs dull. Skin dull. Make up HD… cover’s nicely, but I prefer no make-up now as opposed to my heavy HD mask I used to wear.
Now: Eyes bright. Cheeks, slimmed down. Body, slimmed down. Started drinking tons of water to flush out my system, and quit using birth control – seeing as how I’m not sleeping with anybody I don’t plan on pulling a Mary with the whole immaculate conception thing. Skin? Freaking out.
My skin is the only thing that drives me crazy, and it doesn’t help that I fuck with it, see a bump, try and make it go away. It’s definitely borderline obsessive compulsive, I don’t even realize I’m touching my face, but I do. Angel Pie and E-Deezy are texting me constantly “Don’t touch your face.” But I can’t help it. I think I need to change my products, because what used to work no longer does. Also the lack of birth control has made my skin freak out, so I’m playing with some new things, and so far, so good. One thing in particular is making me very happy today, and I sat watching the preview with this one thing all over my face.
I picked up some Belacrema from a friend, all natural ingredients, blahblahblah, whatever, I’m super stoked on it for a couple reasons. It feels like when I wear it, I get a facelift. Well, it is probably a ton less painful than a facelift, but I wear the mask and feel it tightening my skin, lifting, doing all the things it says it’s supposed to do. My lips even pucker up as the mask hardens, which looks pretty funny, almost like those caveman commercials. I actually watched the “impurities” (nice word for nasty ass zits) rise from my skin through the muddy mask, and then wiped them away with a nice wet wash cloth. My skin is now bright, clear, and refreshed. I don’t want to sound like I’m advertising for them or anything but I’m really digging it. I’ve tried Pro-activ (changes the texture of my skin and dries me out), Origins (I love the guardian protector stuff but end up buying too many different products), Dermalogica (I love the Daily resurfacer and skin smoothing creme, go through it too quick, still have breakouts though), all these super expensive products that have all these little bottles that have all these different cremes that do all this different shit, and nothing works and my skin keeps freaking out. This is the first time in awhile I’ve felt good enough about my face to go out without that HD makeup on, and that’s kind of nice, because makeup covers my freckles and gets all over my clothes. I’ve been doing a ton of press getting ready for this show, and the only thing (as I said I’m a little crazy ego maniac today) that has made me really insecure is my skin. Two weeks ago, I wanted to rip my skin off, use steel wool to rub it raw and make it not breaky outie.
I’m doing a talk show next week and want my skin to be flawless by the time I sit down in the makeup chair. I just want to have normal skin. I don’t want to look like a fucking 12 year old going through puberty, or like an addict coming off drugs. Hopefully this stuff keeps clearing up my skin like it is, I want to go out and get the moisturizer too because mine leaves me dry and needing more throughout the day. uhhhhh. Why can’t my skin just be perfect? I think I may have found the product for me…will report back in a couple days with progress.
Okay, enough about that. Sorry, trying to stay light in lieu of all these serious things I keep talking about on shows like Extra or ET, or this talk show I can’t talk about or the other talk show I can’t talk about yet. So I figured skin care is the perfect way to do that. Okay, good bye for today.