Frustration Station

Posted on November 10, 2009


I wrote this lovely entry this morning around 6am only to log in now and find that it has disappeared completely. I wrote it on my iPhone, then turned off the phone while it was updating, or doing something of a Mac nature, and dwammo. Gonzo. That’s okay though, I can let go of things, even if that thing was possibly the best blog entry I’ve ever written.

No. I can’t say that was the best entry. Because I’m letting go of the idea that any one is any better than any other. They are all just fine, on their own merits, help me in whichever way I need at the time, and allow me to move on. So perhaps this mornings erased blog is a message. Let go of things and don’t be afraid to redo it. I’m not going to write it over. I’ve already let go of where I was when I woke up and am now in an entirely different place. Thank god for the passage of time right?

Yesterday, I attended a Reality Cares Event where reality people show up and say or act like they care by bringing toys for tots, helping the homeless children in LA. *I just cleaned the kitty litter in my house and as soon as I sat down to write this the fucking cat took a shit. But that brings us back to one.* It’s always interesting running into people you feel like you know but aren’t quite sure where you know them from. My old problem was that when approached, people never knew whether or not I am the girl they’d been masturbating to all that time. Now, they know my real name, and aren’t sure if it’s appropriate to ask how I am. Nobody at this event recognized me, which is perfect because my invisible status allowed me to steal to the gift suite room and partake of some lovely Joico Shampoo and Conditioner. Perfect, because not only is it one of my favorite shamps/cond, but the color saving grace is just what the doctor ordered. I went to the event with Stephen Bender (my loverly publicist) and a new but now old friend director/writer/producer Edward Paige. We had a lovely time drinking water and watching the man of the house wander around pleased that his overly stair-cased home had now filled with party goers. Unfortunately, he didn’t have anybody to tell him about the joys of pedicures, and sometimes, money just doesn’t matter. Feet don’t either I guess….but actually they kind of do. You can tell a lot about a person by how they take care of their hands and feet. For instance, I’ve finally grown out all my nails, but for some reason my two middle finger nails broke, and now they are the short ones. Not good for flipping people off. That’s fine by me.

After the event, we went to a gallery, where Julie Newmar stood eyes wide, surrounded by fans, serenaded by a man with a guitar and a harmonica, and the occasional hooligan calling for one last purrrrrrrr. She was kind enough to take a picture with Edward and me, and I think I posted a link over on twitter. Twitter land is an amazing place. We never have to tell anybody what we’ve been doing, they can just check our recent tweets. Fucking internet yo.

So this morning I woke up and touched on the lovely twinkle of the lights in the San Fernando Valley predawn, I sipped coffee and typed furiously with my thumbs about how the sky has yet to decide whether to deliver a baby boy dressed in blue or a sweet little girl adorned in cotton candy pink clouds. About the boy winning over and pushing the girl out of the way, down to those purple mountains majestically enclosing the people of LA. I wrote it all out, and then poof gone. Just like life I suppose.

Tonight was lovely as well, went to a screening for the LA Times of “District 9,” with a Q&A session afterward with the director Neill Blomkamp, a great flick that I had yet to see so how perfect to see it with his insight directly following. And while I don’t usually do the alien flick thing, kind of pride myself on being a fairy tale princess and all about soft fuzzies or big scaries, the documentary style of the movie worked for me, the clips of interviewees, news channels, the way it all fit together made it fit together. It helped that as we got further into the movie Christopher took on more human traits, thus making me feel like maybe aliens aren’t such bad guys after all. In any case, I got a free popcorn and soda outta the deal, saw a great flick and feel good about the night overall.

There is one thing that is rumbling about my mind, but I’m going to sleep on it before I write about it here. I think it is officially time to move on from a relationship that I’d already started cutting off, and now, it will just take some consultation with Jilly Beans and a few other trusted advisors. Then it’s bye bye love, hello potential.

Going to sleep. Sorry if this isn’t as good as the one I wrote that you will never get to read. Sometimes we just gotta let go.

Posted in: Good Days