If this is anything like having children…

Posted on November 11, 2009


Today I ran around like a madwoman with no head. Or is it a chicken without breasts? Today was a full full full day and I did my best to accomplish every necessary thing before my journey off to NYC, and then onto Mexico. I have an adventurous couple of days coming up, and there is nothing like being prepared for ones trip. Everything fell apart around 7, and I’m only now starting to feel a bit better. But still….

First thing in the morning, I headed down to the corner coffee shop, drank two super large Americano’s and enjoyed the free parking that helped me escape parking patrol, always looking for my dirty cloud of a car, especially on street sweeper mornings. I sat there until ten, writing in a very special journal, and mulling over the day ahead. Tons of shit to do. One of those days where the only way to feel settled and accomplished was to write a “To Do” list, which I’ve done in the past, but as I actually had things to do today, it felt oddly more important than any other I’ve written. Which reminds me. Put passport in wallet now.

While at coffee, Duncan arrived with our neighbor friend, and I heard him saying that this coffee shop is one of the only places he can go without being recognized. I laughed and yelled “I see you motherfucker, and I recognize!” and he knows the sound of my voice, started laughing, knowing that yet again his cover was blown. They sat a bit down from me, Duncan is a writer and understands what it means to be buried in a journal with a cigarette in one hand and pen in the other, steaming coffee fogging up my brain and helping me clear out the words, so they left me to myself mostly. I’d chirp in with something clever, a mumble or well formed grunt, and then back to writing.

At ten, it was safe to put my car back on the street, so Saucy and I left (Oh this place lets Saucerton come hang), headed back to the house, I changed, fed her, she shit (outside thank god) and then we headed off to therapy with Jilly Beans. I like bringing Saucy to therapy. In fact, I like bringing her everywhere I go. She is my little partner in crime. Lord knows kitty fucking hates going places with me. She is perfectly happy sitting in my window sill peering out over Hollywood, absolutely hates any change (my perfect little addict), and doesn’t want to adventure to therapy. Saucy is a ride or die bitch.

Interesting therapy session, I spoke about how strange it is to watch the show, because I’m not longer in that place so it’s kind of wild to see just how far I’ve come, and how the work is really paying off. I realize seven months may not seem like immediate results, but in terms of having a life changing experience, it’s a heartbeat. Talked about how excited I am to meet my lit agent in New York, about the possibility of pursuing a career as a sex therapist or counselor, after of course receiving a higher education, and Saucy snuggled in close when I spoke of the wonderful text my Dad sent me, referencing the scary night we packed up and left, saying it was sad and terrifying for everyone. I’m incredibly blessed to have a parent that understands there are differences in perception, and that what I saw as a child may not be the same as what he saw as an adult.

After therapy, I dropped off Sauce and headed to Stephen’s house to help him run gifts to all his favorite people, nobody likes sitting in LA traffic alone, and then headed to Petco for food and bones, then to Home Depot to have keys made for Deezy. At home Depot, I quickly regretted wearing a sheer shirt and thankfully made my way safe back to the car. I bought Deezy a carnivorous plant. I think he will be good at keeping things alive, and I want to let flies loose in his apartment one day so that we can watch the plant gobble them up. Pinching plant. Feed me Seymour.

After Depot, I headed to a coin laundry facility, figuring it’s time to quit depending on B-Snapps lovely laundry room and start being a big girl. This is the text conversation between Deezy and I during that time.

Me: Made the mistake of picking $5 washers.

Deez: So how goes the laundry experience?

Me: Apparently there is no pause button.

Deez: Haha, no. Why would you need a pause button?

Me: Well I realized I wanna wash the bra I have on but my shirt is see through so u changed out, wore a towel like a scarf and then it was too late. No pause. Febreez for the C’s.
Me: Oops. Lol. I changed out. I wear the bra in this friendship.

Deez: Yes. Yes you do.

Me: 😦 poorly executed plan. First times are rough.

Deez: Haha, well put your bra back on for god’s sake.

Me: Is it true drying is only $.25?
Me: Is that other laundry room a lie?
Me: The mexican women hate me.

Deez: .25 per 12 min, but the dryers work really fast so 24-36 min is all you need.

Me: I’m so confused.
Me: A beautiful girl just walked in.
Me: Should I attack her?
Me: Put my bra in her load?
Me: That sounds dirty.
Me: I think I just relapsed.

Deez: Put .25 in. U get 12 min. Put another .25 in, you bump it up to 24 etc etc

Me: Can I dry whites with blacks?
Me: Will everything be gray?

Deez: Bwahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahah

Me: Why is this so hard?

Deez: It’s not hard. I don’t recommend mixing black and white in dryer.

Me: I’m gonna put my bra in her load whether she likes it or not. She just stepped over me.

Deez: And don’t attack the beautiful girl.
Deez: Wait, how old is she?

Me: I’m laying on the floor wallowing in confused self pity wearing a towel and a smelly swamp monster bra.
Me: My age.
Me: Blue shirt.
Me: Tattoo on neck of bow and heart behind ear.

Deez: Don’t put your bra in her load (That does sound dirty)

Me: Maybe she hears love.
Me: Come do laundry with me lol
Me: I’m gonna put my swamp monster bra on her head and put my quarters in her load hahahahahhahaha I like laundry.

Deez: lol, would that I could.

Me: Detergent in hair.
Me: haha.
Me: Fluff and Fold.

Deez: Lmao

Me: hahaha
Me: Mexicans looking at me
Me: Go work, I’m sorry.

After the amazing laundry experience, I came home and attempted to introduce Saucy to Duncan’s new puppy, which did not go over well as there were bones in the apartment and Saucy has a serious addiction to bones. Raw. Hide. She goes nuts. She attacked Duncan’s new dog. Not okay. She attacked her twice. Duncan yelled, and I took Sauce away. Sauce also attacked B-Snapps dog yesterday over a bone. Bit her leg, all the way to the bone, tartar caused infection, Daisy can’t play, B-Snapps can’t watch Sauce while I’m gone, Duncan now nervous (rightly so) to bring new dog around Sauce, a little unsettled about leaving with Saucy being watched by multiple friends. Thank god I have multiple friends.

I’m not sure what to do about her behavior though. When I come back it’s back to bootcamp, but aside from that, do I just not give her bones anymore? Do I request that all bones and food type material be removed when she is around? Do I keep her on the leash constantly so that she doesn’t even think she can fuck around? Fucking dog. I wish she could just talk, so I could tell her how important it is that she doesn’t go fucking nuts over bones.

But I guess I can hear and wouldn’t have listened if anybody told me not to go nuts over bones either. That I’d end up hurting someone. Bone addicts man. All bad.

Watched Madmen with Deez and now writing. Avoiding packing. Which is silly because I leave in 15 hours. Looking at Saucy right now. Not sure why she is getting all crazy with other dogs. Makes me sad, and nervous. Kitty never fights anyone. Of course, the only other person she knows is Saucy. Who is actually a dog. Not a person.

I won’t have my computer during this journey, will be writing blogs via iphone and journaling by hand. So here goes. Time to sleep. Pretend I’m ready. Wake up at 7 and start the shit show all over again.

Posted in: Good Days