3rd attempt at posting this fucking entry

This is m third attempt: I finally found a computer and the mac will ensure that iphone doesn’t erase my words. From yesterday:

Over 6 wrong trains have proved that while I thoroughly enjoy adventuring, my sense of direction in the underground labyrinth that is the NYC subway doesn’t amount to shit and though fun at first, I’ve been on a mission back to Brooklyn for 3 hours now, and have had to pee for 2 of those. This last train, the G train that I know to be the right way home, I took the wrong way. Was a mere 3 stops off at my transfer and now sit waiting for the train back, to cover the additional 6 stops I adventured through.

If only my GPS worked underground.

I have no clue how people do this every day. I suppose you figure out where you are going, and I suppose this hasn’t been a total waste of time, at least I’m sober and I know why I’ve been going the wrong way: because I refuse to look at a map. But I have to pee so bad I’m considering taking the bums way out, find a dark corner, have at it.

Manhattan stations are much busier than this one.

Faint music wanders through the station, some hiphop kid blasting his eardrums, and a lady is painting her nails- the smell intoxicating, making me want to pass out. I’m positive if I pass out I will piss my pants. There is no doubt.

The adventure day was fun, getting to Manhattan proved easier than getting away, but it’s easy to get somewhere when it doesn’t matter where you go. Now it matters. Because my destination has a bathroom. And a sink. And mostly a toilet. Never before has a toilet sounded so amazing. A throne fit for a queen. That chilled porcelain awaiting my buttcheeks calls to me, “Jennie, Here Here! Deposit your piss here! You don’t even have to hover!”

Where is this fucking train?

The guy to my left thought the same thing obviously, hung his head out over the tracks, very daring. Maybe I’ll hang my butt out over the tracks and entertain the crowd with the sweet sweet sound of me urinating. Maybe I’ll get arrested. Both would be amazing sights, for all to see.

Here we go.

On the train. Going the right way. How did a 20 minute trip turn into a 3.5 hour journey through tiled mazes, a soundtrack to my life changing each time I swap trains, each underground performer adding a different element to my wanderings. “Take all of me” in one with “Shoop” in the next. 5 stops away. 5 stops and 4 blocks till touchdown. 5 stops 4 blocks and 14 stairs until I get to release m glorious used water back into the NY sewer system, which is probably traveling alongside me now, underground, and equally uncertain of our destinations.

Back to the station this all started. Back to one, 3 stops now, I can’t lie, I’ve had fun getting on wrong trains, it all started while I was trying to take funny pictures of myself on the train, realized it’s the wrong train, and did it again, and again. Guess it goes to show if I only focus on how I look in funny pictures, I’ll become incredibly lost and end up peeing my pants. That would be funny. I’m sure the chick next to me will laugh when our seat becomes warm from piss. Probably not actually. Maybe.

I should stand.

No. Better off sitting. It’s almost like sitting on a toilet. 2 more stops. So close. Gotta go. Can’t fuck this up again.

Posted in: Good Days