I spent the day doing things that kept my mind from other things. Things like drama and nonsense, anger and disappointment no longer serve the purpose they once served in my life. It used to be very easy to focus on those things, the intensity kept me distracted from my own issues. I find my time is better spent hiking, or painting, writing or playing…. Halo?
I played Halo for the first time tonight and finally understood why I’ve lost so many friends to that ridiculous game. It is more than a game. It is an entire life, and all wars of the world shoved into one tiny xbox. We played for three solid hours, until my eyes glazed over, until my fingers hurt, until it was time to watch…madmen. Madmen was the only possible escape, and after two consecutive episodes, I feel like my eyes are rotting out of my head. This is why I don’t have a television, or any game consoles that will allow me to be unproductive in my day. But I was productive today… I promise.
I went for an early afternoon hike with an old friend and caught up on life. I asked him my questions about authenticity, and he shared with me that there are a few people he finds himself inauthentic around, but not many, and they are not close relationships. He offered to help me in anyway he could, whether it’s another pep talk or someone to sit in on a conversation I feel I must have, and for this I am grateful. He constantly surprises me, as do most people on this planet.
I finished my bridge and am starting a lighthouse.
I’ve never painted a lighthouse before, another friend says he loves them, so I’m painting him one for Christmas. I have yet to tell him. Hopefully I’ll be done by the time I leave for Washington, but if not, then after Christmas will be fine. Some things cannot be rushed.
Saucerton Dogsworth is spending the night at B’s house, after a big hike and some afternoon snuggling, B offered a doggie sleepover with his pit Daisy. Sauce loves Daisy. B loves Sauce. It will be one giant snuggle festival in his bed tonight, and now Sensei can get some quality attention from me.
I spoke with Jill for a half hour, about energy, and ingredients, authenticity and water levels. She is really a wonderful woman, and a brilliant therapist. I was telling her how I feel I have to fake the funk with some people, and it makes me uncomfortable. She said we are all ingredients in the fantastic recipe of life, and my ingredient mixed with some people’s ingredients will make snickerdoodles and other ingredients will make shittydoodles. When we come together with other people, an energy is present, and depending on how our ingredients mix, our energy will be either positive or negative. That’s why I tend to have funny conversations with KB, heartfelt chats with Deezy, excited and girly time vibes with Angel, old style married couple time with B, each person I come across has a different energy than mine, and when we mix, it’s all sorts of different cookies that wind up in one tin.
And I do like cookies. Especially snickerdoodles.
So after a difficult day of not addressing something that perhaps needs addressing (Jill always tells me it’s best to pause, think it through, and then decide upon an action… sometimes no action is action enough), I’m feeling very accomplished and glad I spent the day in the way I did. I’m looking forward to a fun filled day tomorrow, time with a new friend doing old things in a new way.
geo
December 19, 2009
Inaction is still a decision. Its like the pauses between the notes in music. Without those pauses, that inaction, the rest would be gibberish. Without inaction, space, meaning can be lost entirely; with it, those notes, actions, have their meaning & worth.
Kevin
December 19, 2009
Interesting color selection for your painting. I like the juxtaposition of the warm blues and the vibrant warm hue of the bridge. In spite of the heavy contrast, it has a lot of harmony. Your style looks intentional, maybe the planning. On the other hand judging from the brush strokes. I get the feeling once your in the zone your approach towards painting is much more organic and instinctive. It’s almost dream like. Very passionate and romantic even though the subject is cold and metallic. Hard to say what your medium of choice was. Your flavor? Due to the speed…acrylic maybe? That said, its very attractive. I dig it.
Dunivan
December 19, 2009
That’s cool that you actually played a video game today! We got the Wii for christmas and are wearing that thing out. I actually create game levels for half life–pretty much the same as halo. Like you I spent alot of my artistic side creating not playing. I don’t know if I have even completed half life. Video games are really time consuming but alot of fun to distract you from being sad.
Have a good one and email me back! the email address changed cause I protect the other from spam and all–the yahoo account gets everything until I trust it enough.
peace
Rodney
December 19, 2009
i don’t get why duncan is portrayed as a “celebrity”. same with that skater guy and kari ann peniche.
kendra jade is very borderline. i only know her from when she went on Howard Stern after she and her mom set up Jerry Springer. Her and her mom were chanting “Jerry Jerry Jerry” as Springer pleasured himself-lol. Unbeknownst to him they had a secret camera filming it. very shady.
spikeysnack
December 19, 2009
I think you’re doing all right.
Id be interested to know what movie you’d like to make? I had a dream the other night that was like a movie; I just remember you were a boxer and you were trying to win money to pay for your dogs operation or something. maybe I shouldn’t eat nachos before bed.
Anyway keep up the real life adventures and call out the hustlers on their bullshit.
PS. Mad Men is a like kind of culture therapy; it throws us the viewers straight into our own prejudices and “old ideas” by being straight about the 60s ideals and attitudes. How far we haven’t come, and all that ungroovy stuff. Dig it. Not about the past; about us now, as (white) Americans, and how we manufacture our own culture from our desires and write it wide across the land.
David
December 19, 2009
“if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice” — Rush.
Mike D
December 19, 2009
I think we have to be careful about what is meant by living ‘inauthentically’.
Of course, existential authenticity and ethical integrity are things we must aim at when as strive to become ourselves.
That said, a human being is a very complex and internally diverse creature, a composite creature in fact, a symbiosis of differing and different elements.
Sp there will always be an element of internal conflict in our make-up. Within reason, under the control of reason, this is not a bad thing.
The selves we show to the world will always differ in some regards to what we understand, to our developing understanding, of our inner-most selves.
We can see this in our professional personas, the personas we adopt as writers or artists, the personas we show to others, including (perhaps especially) those who are nearest and dearest to us.
But a persona (from a Greek word for a ‘mask’, like the ones ancient Greek actors wore) doesn’t have to be inauthentic just because of that difference from the inner-self, or the perceived inner-self.
Indeed, our understandings of our inner-selveschange and mature through time. But it would be mistaken to call these mutable perceptions ‘inauthentic’. The journey into self is a journey that takes a lifetime.
So personas are not inauthentic as-of themselves. However, they become inauthentic, and the relations we have with others through them become inauthentic, when we use them inauthentically, for example to lie, to cheat, to hurt, to avoid; they also become inauthentic (and pathological) when we use the persona as a substitute for our inner-selves.
A persona is (like an actor’s mask) a prop that we make use of in our social interactions, but it shouldn’t be used to prop up our inner-selves , or to hide from our inner-selves, or to deny that we have an inner-self.
When that happens it is time for healing, time for confession, self-examination, and personal reflection, time for the talking and writing cures.
Donald Rack
December 19, 2009
Oh wow I like how the bridge turned out. Good job. I have spent hours playing video games and watching TV shows, I don’t have any responsibilities. One time I went on a marathon of The L Word, I started thinking like a lesbian and things got a little weird.
Matty C
December 19, 2009
Jennie – Thank you for the gift of this blog. I am a sex addict in recovery since 2000, married for for 5 years with a young daughter. This is a hard slog (as you well know). I have found that fearless and thorough honesty (especially honesty with self, authenticity) represent oxygen to my recovery. I so easily fall into half-truths and dishonesty, especially with myself about my feelings – it is very toxic for me. I have found myself inspired by your searching and thorough honesty here. (No small feat as I am a cynical sonofabitch). Since I began reading your blog I have actually become incrementally more real and honest with the people in my life (there is always room for improvement). If you’re like me, it isn’t as fearless an exercise as you’d like it to be. But progress, right? Anyway, I am grateful to you. Your blog is a true 12th step offering.
Sean
December 19, 2009
Love the bridge painting miss – very beautifully done. Definitely like seeing your art mixed in with other things, it just adds another element to reading about your journey.
Jonathan
December 19, 2009
Sometime waiting gives time for new directions to evolve.
Will
December 19, 2009
Jennie,
Your story is inspiring. I almost lost everything to my sex addiction. I’ve now been in recovery for just over two years. To hear parts of your story and recovery has been very healing for me. During my addiction it was easy for me deny the pain and brokenness behind the images, videos and people I encountered in my addiction. As my addiction came to light and as I moved into recovery it was relatively easy to connect with the pain and brokenness in the people closest to my addiction… my wife, my kids and so on. Although it has been difficult for me to directly connect with pain and brokenness on the other side of the adult industry, I always knew it was there. Your story has helped me to connect with that pain and brokenness I have always known existed. I wish you the best in your recovery and your life. May you find the serenity you’re a looking for.
crisrawner
December 19, 2009
Just keep living life to the fullest and put all the b.s. to the side and keep spending time with the people you love and care about because they’re the ones that’ll pick you up when the rest of the world brings you down.
V
December 20, 2009
Martin, thanks for this quote. So true, but I never though of it that way, and I’m a vet. 🙂
Martin
December 19, 2009
Tactics is the art of using troops in battle; strategy is the art of using battles to win the war.
Clausewitz
CanadaPat
December 19, 2009
If you were a cookie Jennifer K. you would be made purely of sugar and spice and everything nice!
Tony
December 19, 2009
You have cookies. I am jealous.
Michael the Geezer
December 19, 2009
Saturday mornings are so restorative. Fresh coffee, the newspapers, and blog reading.
I enjoy thinking about the symbols and themes you are painting about. Things that facilitate passage.
The recipe metaphor is deep, too!
(go Jill) Along that line, it’s important to have fresh, quality ingredients and to bake at the right temperature for the correct amount of time. Remember your cookie dough mishap?
(inner child unwisely overeating in attempt to satisfy hunger over lost past).
This is a golden time for you. You are at just the right age to be able to create a recipe for a life more nourishing and satisfying. It requires enough sous chef experience, but still having the energy to see things with new eyes.
Can’t wait to see what you’ll cook up next.
Lance
December 19, 2009
Good idea you have to not have a tv or video game in your place. They are fun but as you know from first hand experience they can suck you in and waste time that could be better spent on a nice hike.
LC
December 19, 2009
Dear Jennie,
The intense examination of authenticity seems to be a rather existential contemplation, but being real and really connected in an honest way is an integral part of sound human relationships. Not knowing you at all and only being an observer it strikes me as you Jennie are a very authentic person all be it sometimes a bit of a mess with the addictions. Your screen presence in the rehab show is extremely piercing with emotion (god only knows what emotion — as so much of the show is devoted to one person’s drama). The ability to convey emotion through the camera is now doubt why you were accomplished actress. I don’t mean that as a slight but a complement, to feel and convey is both as essential in life as it is in acting.
I guess the problem come when you desire to feel and convey things that run contrary to you values and it is clear from your writing that the addictions mess, with who you want to be, how to connect with your values and connect with others. In your old posts there were two musings that were extremely just apposed. In one you wrote an account of some adult awards weekend in Los Vegas which would catch the attention of Jack Kerouac; full, great, course excess including lots of alcohol and the other a very tender story about how you were worried someone very close to you was an alcoholic and how worried you were for that person. Seems both were authentic and real but only one was instep with the caring connected person you want to be. So maybe being authentic is learning from the times we are not connected to our values, even though we may have had a good time when we were disconnected from them. Personally I have lots of superficial relationships and feel authentic in that. I am uncomfortable when I am wrapped up with people or situations when they run counter to what is in step with my needs and values.
Many people who write you think you should renounce your career as an actress. What it appears to me as an outsider; it was the additions and your relationship problems that got in the way of your job not acting. In the show you clearly say you have to abandoned the career to be sober. Being much older and maybe not any smarter, I have found it not so much the mistakes I make but the things I do that make things better for me and those around me that count. So my point is simple this; as you turned toward the person who at Chirstmas you were afraid of becoming alcoholic you turned away for those things in your life which you may have been at odds with your values the additions and the running away. There is nothing superficial about caring for those closest to you, but not to care is what I guess you are calling inauthentic. On the other hand one can be authentically superficial but not inauthentically superficial as that would be more than disconnected and using?
Just thoughts. Your openness with your life is really rather remarkable. Thanks for sharing. LC
Angela
December 19, 2009
Whether you know it or not, the struggles you have with authenticity and self discovery are universal. That is why so many people have responded to your story on tv and on this blog. The more you honestly express how you are achieving authenticity and maintaining sobriety, the more people you help. Regardless of their circumstance, staying true to one’s self is no easy feat. Thank you for putting words and definition to feelings I have had myself, but could not properly identify. You are not just enabling your own authenticity, but that of others as well. The whole snickerdoodles thing is another great revelation and has helped me understand my shyness a bit more. Thanks.
Pierre
December 19, 2009
Interesting icebergs on either side of the bridge! Where I am, bridges get you from one place to another like where you are, but during winter they are very hazardous, as they are often the iciest part of the road. They are a necessary part, but they have their risks as well. You always want to see what’s on the other side!
Biggest question is…….
WHAT’S IN A SNICKERDOODLE?
They look good though!
ben
December 19, 2009
make sure you stay away from world of warcraft then!!
Joe K
December 19, 2009
Hey Jennie –
Love, love, LOVE the finished Golden Gate piece. There’s an almost Twilight Zone quality to the gold against the almost monochrome night. Beautiful.
There’s nothing unproductive about having a HALO afternoon (although I myself don’t have a console system at home, so maybe I’m being a little more left-handed than I mean to be) because it inspired the first half of this blog entry. Everything goes in the gumbo, Jenn. Everything adds a little flavour of itself to the breadth of your life and as a result of that, to your writing, which is still as confident and clear as ever. As much as I love the unique POV in your painting, I really like your writing. A lot.
Kerri
December 19, 2009
Hey Jennie,
Love your creative work, the painting the writing the baking, all very good outlets! I have been reading tweets and blogs of you and others from the show, and I gotta say…I think you’re well to keep away from the drama. It is not what you need and can distract you from your goal for sure. I feel sorta dirty reading it myself. I think you all are interesting and dynamic people but the negativity that is being not so subtly aimed towards you is not cool. There are always two sides to any argument…often more, but when you are trying hard just to stay about water, someone else’s drama and negativity can sink you. I am avoiding it like the plague these days. I am spending a butt load of time by myself too. That’s ok though, I think it’s where I need to be in order to grow. I totally get what you were saying about being authentic with people. There are very few I feel like I can just be myself and be loved and accepted with. Time to maybe stay on my own and just learn to love and accept MYSELF before I go back into a social realm. Anyhow, I am pulling for you and hope you continue to rise above others drama and cattiness. Walk hard, sister.
Riff
December 19, 2009
i do not understand what Duncan has done to you , I can understand his anger . If you never intended on being his friend than you should of never led him on in any way . Like Duncan has said Hollywood romance fades away . But he honestly thought you were a real friend .As i watched the sex rehab show on vh1 ,I was all for every single one of you but then you slowly changed yourself jenny . You became chameleon like . Is that another struggle you have? You became to goodie goodie as you were in the porn business . I do not know why you are so uptight now and changed from the first episode of sex rehab to the very end. I think it would be healthy to remain true to yourself and be responsible to you .
George
December 19, 2009
Snickerdoodles or Shitdoodles, huh?
LMAO.
Must be awesome to have Jill in your life!
I watched all the rehab shows. As a matter of fact I used to get high and watch them over and over again. Pretty sick, huh?
But, something was different on this show. I somehow connected to you and your willingness to recover. I then found this blog and got inspired by your continued strength to change your life.
See, I have been an addict since i was 16. I did get clean for 2 1/2 years some time ago(D& A), but that’s a blip on the radar screen compared to how long I’ve been addicted to sex, drugs, alcohol and gambling.
Just wanted to let you know that I have been clean for 2 weeks now. I got a therapist and I’m going to meetings. I want recovery so fucking bad. And I know that you do! That’s why I come here and read your posts each day. It helps me.
Right now I have no clue WTF is going on. But, I’m clean. That’s about it! White knuckling it as they say. I have no idea what I’m feeling or what’s going to happen and I’m frankly scared to death of dealing with all the shit from my past. I never dealt with it before cause for 2 1/2 years I was a meetingaholic (LOL) that’s what kept me clean.
Your courage and honesty is helping me. It’s giving me hope. Just wanted you to know that, Jennie.
Thank you so much!
Geo
.
Art
December 20, 2009
I have been watching you on “Sex Rehab” and I am very proud of you. YOu seem so sincere and eager to heal. I hope you continue to heal and grow. I will pray for you that you will continue to have the strength to stay on the straight and narrow path. I know from experience that we grow through hardships if we really want to. When things seem so difficult I have learned to surrender them to God and He is so eager to take the burden off your hands. He loves weak people. Keep it up! You’re special.
fromhousewifetofilmmaker
December 20, 2009
I wanted to read your post before ambling off to bed…finally. It’s, 3:19 a.m. and I’m zonked. So no real depth here right now except to say, I think it’s awesome that you’re finding ways to redirect your brain patterns and I hope you have a fantabulous day tomorrow with your new friend.
Oh and I wish I never saw the cookies, now I’m starving. What I’d give to reach through the screen and snap one, okay two-three off that tray and pop them in my mouth. Yum!
Annnnd I just noticed that you follow my blog. I consider that an honor. 🙂 You’re a terrific person.
Theresa Jane
Gleek
December 20, 2009
was therapist Jill a former sex addict herself? that’s hot to think about. she’s kind of square acting, but she’s got a great rack. I bet that if Amber Smith seduced her or Dr Drew, they would be all in!!! who could resist Amber?
TS
December 20, 2009
Those weird f’ed up cookie-like things look delicious.
David Haneline
December 20, 2009
I Am The Way, The Truth And The Life….”- Jesus. “So God So Loved The World, That He Gave His Only Begotten Son….” John 3:16. Please Give Jesus A Try,Jennifer. I Don’t Think You’ll Be Disappointed, Anymore. Really.
Steve
December 20, 2009
Halo? Just stay away from “World of Warcraft” or you’ll have a whole new addiction to fight.
but seriously…you continue to inspire and give me hope. Thank you for that.
Eric
December 20, 2009
You’re day sounds a lot like my day. Playing video games takes up a good portion of my day I hate to admit.
I am glad to see your blog here. I learned a lot from you guys on the show and I am looking forward to getting to know you better without borders on your own blog.
Keep it up! 🙂
Scott...yeah that one!
December 20, 2009
Happy Sunday Jennie!!
I’m gonna start writing messages to drop in the bottle of your comment section, now that we’ve established that you actually read this comment board.
FIRST…God rest the soul of beautiful and talented Brittany Murphy. It’s a crime that someone that bright and sunny, would allow themselves to be destroyed by drugs and manipulated by a human predator like the man she married.
NOW: Why didn’t anyone care, why didn’t she care….but MOST IMPORTANTLY…why didn’t she know how much we all cared!
As the Holiday’s approach, we need to remember that no one is truly alone….someone cares about EACH of us, even if we’ve never even met that someone. We need to take care of ourselves out of respect for the people who loves us…or one day MAY love us!
I love you Jennie…even though we have not and probably won’t meet, so take care of yourself, respect yourself and take care for me as well as yourself. Every person is precious!
Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!
lisa f
December 20, 2009
I just want you to know that I really enjoy reading your blog! I have lost hours reading old entries because your writing style is so engaging. Sometimes it’s so funny I can barely breathe because I am laughing so hard. You have a real talent for writing and I’m looking forward to your book 🙂
V
December 20, 2009
Please, for the terminally lame, what is a ‘snickerdoodle?’ I really love the painting. Gracefully surreal. Well, ‘hello Dali’. 😉
goodvsbad
December 20, 2009
Beautiful painting. Insightful words.
Jess
December 20, 2009
I am amazed by your courage. Your story is so inspirational.
Robyn
December 20, 2009
I’m a little late to the party having just started reading through your blog, but I wanted to say thank you for sharing your experiences first through the show and now here. While the causes were different in my case, the underlying emotions were very similar and your story struck a chord with me. I wish you the best and feel hopeful for you!
nikki
December 20, 2009
In my experience, one reason I’m inauthentic with people specifically I want to get to know or be close to, is because authenticity leaves me vulnerable. I lived a somewhat crazy existence for a long time so I tend to make this assumption that people that seem to have their shit together wouldn’t like me if they knew the life I used to lead and some of the problems I have now. But in reality:
1)Because someone doesn’t accept me doesn’t mean that in reality I’m unacceptable or unworthy.
2) If someone doesn’t like the authentic me then that relationship wouldn’t be rewarding anyways.
3) I only want to be close to people that are able feel empathy towards others
4) People that have their shit together may have not always had their shit together
5)Most people are really not that really that judgemental
6)I don’t like everyone so why should everyone have to like me?
Still, the truth in this reality hasn’t fully sunk in to my psyche yet. Thinking about it and practicing it are 2 different things. Anyways, stopping the rant… I’m absolutely inspired by you. Have a great holiday!
-Me
Nate
December 20, 2009
HALO!!!
I love the Halo universe! I hope they make a movie. . .
Lawrence
December 20, 2009
Hey Jenny,
Just wanted to let you know that I’m rooting for you. You seem like such as a nice human being, yes with flaws, but you deserve as happy a life as you want. God bless.
Christine, 28
December 20, 2009
Abraham Lincoln is credited with the following acuity:
“If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend six hours sharpening my ax.”
Generally, the quote is used to encourage careful preparation as a form of strategy, but I think it also speaks insightfully to the exercise of restraint.
How often have first impressions lead us to the misjudgment of people/situations/surroundings? In how many instances have our gut instincts been founded in misinformation?
While knee-jerk reactions have a validity of their own and should be considered, restraint and time spent reflecting can bring clarity. At first glance, it is easy to think the task at hand is, well… easy. Or that it NEEDS immediate attention. We may think we have it pegged, but the devil is in the details.
Inaction IS powerful: perhaps, in the 7th hour, it is decided that the tree should live. The decision–the action–is to put down your ax.
Inaction is a conscious decision after careful evaluation; procrastination is inaction as a default of avoidance.
Which one are you exercising?
Nutmeg
December 21, 2009
You are such a beautiful and valuable person, I’m loving your art! I teach kindergarten and know how critical self expression is. Keep it up, you’re doing a lovely job!
Tspoon
December 21, 2009
I dont know you, but seeing you on TV always reminds me of the song Blackbird by the Beatles.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.
Brian
December 21, 2009
I REALLY recommend trying to make some form of white chocolate chip cookies with dried cherries in the batter. I imagine a typical chocolate chip cookie recipe will work.
Rono64
December 21, 2009
Great art, thanks for sharing it with us, I wish you all the best.
Justin
December 21, 2009
Jenny, Youtube Alan Watts. I think you’ll dig him. He’s got a few things to say about authenticity, inauthenticity, and being present. Enjoy yourself. =]
Kaiser
December 21, 2009
As above, so below.
They asked Jesus’s rabbi what the meaning of the bible was and he said ” do unto others as you would have them do unto you, the rest is just commentary”. You’re doing fantastic !
Kriss
December 21, 2009
Jen, loved you on rehab. Keep it up girl!!!!
daviangel
December 21, 2009
“I played Halo for the first time tonight and finally understood why I’ve lost so many friends to that ridiculous game. It is more than a game. It is an entire life,…” Don’t ever ever play WOW or Everquest for that matter then! Otherwise you will have another addiction to fight seriously. My old roomate was an evercrack addict and I rarely saw him come out of his room. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=evercrack
mag
December 21, 2009
Love you, Jenny! I’m on this strict thing of going to bed at 10pm and the only time I’ve been up way later was reading your blog. 1:30 am! You’re such an excellent writer, and the way you’re pacing out your healing and living so authentically is a great example and inspiration. Thank you.
Jonathan
December 21, 2009
A few days of avoidance?
Hope you are okay.
mike
December 21, 2009
You gave yourself the best Christmas present ever: recovery. I’m working through Step 4 and it is brutal, and raw. Thanks again for the blog, and for your inspiration. I bid you peace and serenity.
dwemmy
December 21, 2009
Saucerton Dogsworth- you can’t make up a name like that. Or, I guess you can- hope it wasn’t.
We enjoy reading your blog.
Matt
December 21, 2009
Just have to say…………that painting is
beautiful. You have a real talent there. Take
advantage of it and you can change everything.
Poison Re-volution
December 21, 2009
I caught some of the time you spent with Dr. Dew just recently, and immediately identified. I made a reputation for myself in the South Jersey area as a party performer and something of a novelty in the sheltered world of older married men and scared little boys, with similar walls and habits, known for being the bitty switch girl who’s unafraid of anything. Also, notoriously unattached and unobtainable. Only, I didn’t have the career out of it. Seeing your courage to address your issues has compelled me to address where the line is between how much of it is because I want to, and how much of it is *have* to or running from myself. Thank you.
Pierre
December 21, 2009
I’m not going to bother commenting on this forum anymore, as it seems like my comments do not matter at all. I’ve always been the person that’s left out, and I feel the same way here. Everyone elses comments are here, while mine always have that “you’re comment is awaiting moderation”. The world is a nasty place, seems always more nastier around the holidays for some reason. Don’t bother with some crappy retorts, as I’ve heard them all, and don’t need to hear them right now. Merry xmas and a happy new year to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scott...yeah that one!
December 22, 2009
Sowwwyyy Piere….everybody wuvs you! But the world doesn’t have to use you as it’s center!
Kerri
December 21, 2009
Something I said?! :*(
Jarred F
December 21, 2009
Hey Jennie- great job with the Golden Gate Bridge. I have no artistic talent but can appreciate works of art- I think your painting is fabulous. I would actually buy something like that for the office. Anyway, what are you doing in Washington? DC or state of? I know you are still close with Duncan but are you friends with any of the other members of the show?
Jarred F
December 21, 2009
Not to be a spambot or anything, but I just read your post about asking for questions from your readership to give you some ideas for future pieces:
1) where did you learn to write? I mean did you take formal article writing, high school newspaper? college courses?
2) who is your muse/ inspiration for writing- who do you borrow style from in your thoughts?
3) who are the people you look up to- could be famous or real people, what are their qualities?
4) If you could travel anywhere in the world for a week where would it be? I think you wrote about a few days in Paris so you can’t choose that one again 🙂
5) have you realized that you now look for a different type of person to be friends with? like in the past were you attracted to party people and now a different type- or maybe no changes at all.
6) do people recognize you when you are in your normal life? and what do you think about that?
Katie
December 21, 2009
I watched the final episode tonight. Hun, I’m so proud of you! Thanks for inspiring other people to make radical change. You hang in there girl and keep unleashing that creativity!
patricia
December 21, 2009
I just finished watching the last episode . Your are a great and wonderful person. My prayers are with you. Thank you so much for your honest and your courage.
Bruce Climas
December 21, 2009
Hi Jennie, thought I would give you a gentle pat on the shoulder and say I hope your ‘new’ life works out for you. I am not in any way religious, I just know that change can be difficult. PS I am not a wackjob either!
Andrew
December 21, 2009
Found your blog after catching a “Rehab” episode my friend was watching. Glad to see you are moving forward and doing well. I hope you keep painting as well, since I was very impressed after seeing the bridge, you recently finished, in this post.
Good luck and I hope you have less and less drama to deal with as time goes on, and a happy holiday season.
Karen
December 22, 2009
Lighthouses are my favorite too. I don’t know why, but I have quite a few paintings of them.