Day Six

Posted on April 11, 2010


We took an ultimate bike ride today. All the way down Venice, Santa Monica and back. Parked at Urth Cafe (and by parked I mean locked the bikes) and took a stroll down main st., wandered through the farmers market listening to the bluegrass band playing and kids laughing riding the ponies.

The ponies were not laughing.

I took Mr. Man into every store that had smells. Most turned out to be very expensive smells, but they were nice to smell anyway. We flirted with the idea of buying longboards to mash around the beach, looked at beach cruisers and drank lattes. He had a mocha. We watched kids at the skatepark, five year olds to fifty year olds, grinding rails and doing ollies.

I didn’t want a cigarette once.

Not until I came home and we started to relax. Boredom is such huge trigger for me, no matter how hard I work out or how busy I am, the moment I take time to do nothing is the moment 7 minutes becomes eternity. The moment I find myself powerless and remember my behavior makes my life unmanageable.

I never would have accomplished the things I did today if I took time to smoke.

At seven minutes a cigarette, and 30 cigarettes a day, I spend roughly 3 and a half hours smoking. 3.5 solid hours where my lungs are filled with smoke.

My skin has started clearing up.

The skin on my chest is smooth again (Mr Man revealed it had become quite tight- but not in an offensive/ meanie way-he said “Babe! The skin on your chest looks so soft!).

I’ve been inspired to ride every day. To walk saucy every day. I’ve already made a new friend at the dog park- which I wouldn’t have done if I was sitting quietly in the corner puffing away.

I haven’t worn make up for the past two days.

Again, I know this pink cloud will burst, but I’ll continue enjoying it until then.

Thank you all again for your love and support. The encouragement and kind wishes help me so much, and whenever I’m in doubt, I come here to remember I’m not in this alone.

Posted in: Good Days