Posted on July 14, 2010


Ahhhh the joys of classical literature, Achilles and Odysseus coming together, inspire Virgil to write the Aeneid, under the command of Augustus of course who needed a little history for Italy and Rome in general. Socrates and his inquiring method setting philosophical foundations for generations to follow, Plato setting up for Augustine and Augustine turning Plato’s “good” to “God”, Augustine, who I’m fairly convinced was not only the founder of Christianity (aside from Jesus of course) but was also the first sex addict and initiator of all anonymous programs entirely, having more guilt at his adolescent masturbation than most sex addicts I know. We are four weeks deep in our six week course…

And I’m kicking serious ass.

It’s amazing the things we take for granted when we don’t understand why we are doing them. At SDSU, on a full academic scholarship, I’d show up stoned, absorb whatever information happened to seep through my thick cranium, and hope whatever I “learned” was enough to get me through the test. Now, I’m studying my ass off, committed to the process of learning, and loving every second of it. Especially the learning.

I see Platonic theory and thought in nearly every beauty product advertising campaign.

I’m learning time management being in class by 8am, and finishing (or at least trying) my studies by Mr. Man’s time off so we can spend quality time. Like the super awesome couple we are.

I understand why every person I’ve ever known, who works in the civilian world, says Friday is the best freaking day ever.

I can comprehend the meaning of “the weekend” like I’m trying to comprehend the combination of potential and matter, knowledge and material, the soul and the body combining into one to form this, most incredible life.

I love school and every part therein. Especially the part where I have structure and purpose.

The proposal is finished, one more small re-write and then it’s a done deal, off to publishers and in the hands of something bigger than me. Thank god. I can’t keep stressing over the next step. So I’m making my next step, writing up a resume and hitting the streets to get myself an in between job. I’ve put it off for long enough, depended on my paintings for income, and need something a little bit more….structured. Perhaps its the academic influence. Perhaps I’m starting to see further in my days than a month or two month’s at a time. In any case, it doesn’t matter what I do, as long as I’ve a little paycheck to help contribute to my home. To our home.

Mr. Man is well, he works so hard and it inspires me every day to push myself to be the best I can be. And it’s turning out my best is much better than I ever gave myself credit for. Even though it’s only my first class back, and a subject I love, the fact I’ve literally gotten 100% on every quiz, and have 100% in the class is encouraging. And when he tells me he’s proud of me, and he believes in me, it feels good. Because I believe in myself too.

I’m going through the comments on this blog, and taking some for my book proposal. The support I’ve encountered here, the amazing women and men who say they are inspired, the people who’ve shared their lives with me as I’ve shared mine with them, you are all the reason I am writing this. So thank you. For helping me believe I can do this.

I’m 2/3 finished with this class and already signed up for fall; psych, English and philosophy of modern ethics (we will be talking about porn which should be fairly interesting all things considered…). I have an appointment with a counsellor on Thursday who will help plan my days leading up to UCLA, the goal, my plan, a Bachelors, then Masters, maybe one day a Doctorate, but today a dream. And the guts to make it happen.

Hope your summer is hot and happy.