Ahhhh the joys of classical literature, Achilles and Odysseus coming together, inspire Virgil to write the Aeneid, under the command of Augustus of course who needed a little history for Italy and Rome in general. Socrates and his inquiring method setting philosophical foundations for generations to follow, Plato setting up for Augustine and Augustine turning Plato’s “good” to “God”, Augustine, who I’m fairly convinced was not only the founder of Christianity (aside from Jesus of course) but was also the first sex addict and initiator of all anonymous programs entirely, having more guilt at his adolescent masturbation than most sex addicts I know. We are four weeks deep in our six week course…
And I’m kicking serious ass.
It’s amazing the things we take for granted when we don’t understand why we are doing them. At SDSU, on a full academic scholarship, I’d show up stoned, absorb whatever information happened to seep through my thick cranium, and hope whatever I “learned” was enough to get me through the test. Now, I’m studying my ass off, committed to the process of learning, and loving every second of it. Especially the learning.
I see Platonic theory and thought in nearly every beauty product advertising campaign.
I’m learning time management being in class by 8am, and finishing (or at least trying) my studies by Mr. Man’s time off so we can spend quality time. Like the super awesome couple we are.
I understand why every person I’ve ever known, who works in the civilian world, says Friday is the best freaking day ever.
I can comprehend the meaning of “the weekend” like I’m trying to comprehend the combination of potential and matter, knowledge and material, the soul and the body combining into one to form this, most incredible life.
I love school and every part therein. Especially the part where I have structure and purpose.
The proposal is finished, one more small re-write and then it’s a done deal, off to publishers and in the hands of something bigger than me. Thank god. I can’t keep stressing over the next step. So I’m making my next step, writing up a resume and hitting the streets to get myself an in between job. I’ve put it off for long enough, depended on my paintings for income, and need something a little bit more….structured. Perhaps its the academic influence. Perhaps I’m starting to see further in my days than a month or two month’s at a time. In any case, it doesn’t matter what I do, as long as I’ve a little paycheck to help contribute to my home. To our home.
Mr. Man is well, he works so hard and it inspires me every day to push myself to be the best I can be. And it’s turning out my best is much better than I ever gave myself credit for. Even though it’s only my first class back, and a subject I love, the fact I’ve literally gotten 100% on every quiz, and have 100% in the class is encouraging. And when he tells me he’s proud of me, and he believes in me, it feels good. Because I believe in myself too.
I’m going through the comments on this blog, and taking some for my book proposal. The support I’ve encountered here, the amazing women and men who say they are inspired, the people who’ve shared their lives with me as I’ve shared mine with them, you are all the reason I am writing this. So thank you. For helping me believe I can do this.
I’m 2/3 finished with this class and already signed up for fall; psych, English and philosophy of modern ethics (we will be talking about porn which should be fairly interesting all things considered…). I have an appointment with a counsellor on Thursday who will help plan my days leading up to UCLA, the goal, my plan, a Bachelors, then Masters, maybe one day a Doctorate, but today a dream. And the guts to make it happen.
Hope your summer is hot and happy.
Ivan
July 14, 2010
Proud of you!
sarahbfrom
July 14, 2010
Congrats, Jennie – it makes me so happy to read this! Keep it up!
Hoosier
July 14, 2010
Thanks for the update! Glad to see you’ve found an enthusiasm for your class(es)that was heretofore lacking (ever hear of the saying–don’t know its origin–“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”? Exciting that you’re turned on by philosophy, too. You deserve every good thing that’s coming to you now. Continued best of luck and keep us posted on your contining progress!
Ryann
July 14, 2010
Awesome Jennie, can’t wait for a book signing in the East Bay (hint hint)!
Lisa
July 14, 2010
Dear Miss Jennie,
I was so inspired by your blog that it’s the reason I started my blog and it’s been one of the coolest experiences of my life. And I found a lot of great friends from following the blog links of other bloggers that posted comments. You have no idea how much I owe you for everything. Reading your beautiful posts and seeing your struggles and triumphs really helped me. It was strange to see someone like you having similar self-esteem issues as someone like me. Seeing you flourish helps me too.
I never had any doubt you would do wonderful in school, but am very glad to hear it anyway. It is clear to me and all your admirers that you will achieve anything you want because you have the smarts and the drive! I’m so glad you and Mr. Man are well and have each other. I hope you make lots of real friends at school too.
With eternal gratitude and admiration,
Lisa
Charles M
July 14, 2010
well done. I hate writing papers for school (been out for 10years and desided to go back) and well, i’m loving it. Sucks its online, no interaction with real humans lol.
But glad to see your back wrighting, i missed ya.
best wishes!
Grimm
firstverb
July 14, 2010
Miss Jennifer,
This is so wonderful, you’re doing such a fantastic job. I hope it is ok for me to say, I am proud of you as well. School the second time around for me and others I know are just like this. The distractions are gone and the focus of what has to be done is right in front of you. You can do anything you set you mind and heart on. The teacher says you could teach the class, has that ever been considered? Teaching, shaping molding the still forming minds of the young, maybe not, might drive you back to smoking.
You and Mr. Man look so happy together. You, the two of you, are good for each other. I am so glad you found one another, he is an answered prayer. (He’s about to be a lighthouse.) The lighthouse that helps you through the rough parts of life. I’m sorry he has to work so hard, and that the time you have together is at a premium. However it does help with the priorities, and what you do with the little time you have together.
I believe you will do all you aspire to. Have a full day, filled with happy thoughts so you can fly, you don’t need the pixie dust.
If you can dream it, you can do it. ~Walt Disney
Have a glorious day.
Hoosier
July 14, 2010
Hi, I’ve been thinking about your newest update and am inspired to write some more, if you don’t mind. When I was a high school senior, my English class read Will Durant’s “The Story of Philosophy”, a history of the subject for popular audiences. For me, it was a total inspiration, reminding me of another literary reference I can’t at the moment offer proper attribution for–a poem called “On First Looking Into Chapman’s Homer”, in which the poet exclaims at the sheer thrill of learning something new. It sounds exactly like that’s what you’re experiencing now, and it’s so inspiring to see you do it. Just watch how this education in which you’re now personally invested as you never were before (before its value was more apparent to you) opens up your mind and your life and works more marvelous changes in you! And you bring a maturity to the process, as well, which some of your undergraduate classmates, fresh from secondary school, may lack, as you did “the first time around”. I’m looking forward to reading your memoir when it’s eventually published, too, since, from the evidence on your blog, you’re an uncommonly gifted wordsmith, besides. So, as I offered in my earlier reply to this latest post of yours, all the best in the future and more power to you! You’re an inspiration to your readership here, as you are to your family, Dr. Drew, Mr. Man and all the others in your immediate circle.
Jacob C
July 14, 2010
Welcome back.
What do you mean by :
I see Platonic theory and thought in nearly every beauty product advertising campaign.
?
Visiting my grandparents has helped me gain some perspective and balance. Finding out more about your childhood surely changes you. Maybe there’s more to yours than you know, and one day, when things are good, you’ll remember, and it’ll shatter your world for a time. Hooray for the brain’s protection mechanisms! Seriously though, I’m happy for you and I hope your summer is eventful.
It’s interesting, isn’t it, figuring out what life is really about after you’ve been an addict for so long. Structure, well, activity, at the very least, is something that an addict really isn’t used to, isn’t it?
Again, take care and welcome back.
Dave
July 14, 2010
Good on ya!
aaron
July 14, 2010
Wonderful. I feel like I’ve watched you blossom. From your time on the shows and then your blog. Amazing success story and I’ve been rooting for you every step of the way.
KBO
July 14, 2010
Huzzah! I thought of you the other day and wondered if you were well, and here you are with an update. So glad to hear life is as it should be.
rob
July 14, 2010
Yea!!! So good to hear from you again. It’s wonderful to hear your enthusiasm. How exciting for you. Keep us posted when you can. We ALL miss you when you’re gone. Go Jennie go!!!!!
kyleklebba
July 14, 2010
Jennie, this is great news. Like Ivan, “proud of you”. A book suggestion for you if I may? Check “Please Don’t Come Back from the Moon” by Dean Bakopoulous. He touches on the re-inventing of oneself, family issues etc. I think you may enjoy. I also have you to thank for getting me writing again…so thanks 🙂
Pete Schult
July 14, 2010
I was happy to read your update and to hear that you’re really into what you’re learning.
John Omar Larnell Adams
July 14, 2010
Hi gorgeous Jennie!
How are you?
Glad to see you back on here again.
I am wanting to deeply apologize for before.
When we would email each other and I said I would come to California and see you.
You were and are a ray of sunshine to me.
Sorry for that again.
Email me whenever you can.
Glad you are happy.
I missed you.
Stephers
July 14, 2010
I blew a full music scholarship when I was 18. Now i’m 35 and just starting to finish my Bachelor’s. Before I read this, I was asking myself why am I putting myself through the stress? THIS is exactly why. I’t not for the paper at the end, it’s for the pursuit of knowledge and the personal satisfaction of accomplishment. Thank you for the reminder!
You can do this. You already are! If you can do this, I can certainly pass that math class i’m struggling in!
Jenn
July 14, 2010
Your enthusiasm is catching. You have done so many amazing and brave things. I was kinda nervous about my new Masters program… now you’ve actually made me anticipate it. Thanks for being you and sharing you!
Kent
July 14, 2010
Nice job! You continue to be an inspiration!
JD
July 15, 2010
I’m happy for you as you give us all hope… That and the withdrwals fromm your Blog were nerve racking.
Keeep up the Good work.
Peter Holden
July 15, 2010
Hi Jennie!
Great to see you back online again (and on twitter).
Would like to say it’s hot… but’s it’s cold wet and windy here in Melbourne, Australia!
HOWEVER I do have to thank you for your kind words and advice back in March.
I’ve gone from getting back into the workforce with a one month temp job, to now working full-time in my home city! (Thanks for the Morale boost in the “lists” suggestion).
Keep at it with the good school work.
Peter (long-time reader and twitter follower “BrekkyDJ”)
Luke
July 15, 2010
Im glad things are going well for you. Hope your summer is good too! Peace.
josue
July 15, 2010
wow!! your back!! good work at SDSU i proud of you.
Daniel
July 15, 2010
I love your can do attitude. I’m a first year bachelor of education student, and opted not to pick up English as one of my subjects, out of fear that I might fail it. I have been thinking about picking up English for a while now, and after reading your piece, I have decided to go for it. To be honest, I’m a little jealous of your grades. I start my second semester in a week (I live in Australia), and will be making the change.
Btw, what course are you enrolling into?
Al Keats
July 15, 2010
Out of curiosity, does this course proceed through post-modernism? I think you’d really get into Jean Baudrillard. His most famous text is Simulacra and Simulation, which apparently inspired the Matrix – although they somewhat tweaked his concepts… Anyhoo, it’s a short but life-changing read and, what with your reference to the Platonic method and its relationship with beauty ads, you might get a kick out of S & S!
Glad to see you’re kicking ass and taking names! Pax Vobiscum!!!
intimatewriter
July 15, 2010
I am so happy to read good news of you. I wish I was able to balance everything in my life as you do. You inspire me to continue my studies more seriously. I’ve been a bad student and I sort of lost the interest in learning at some point and reading you makes me want to commit more. Thank you.
Justin
July 15, 2010
Heh, your professor (or TA?) uses smiley faces, that’s great!
L C
July 15, 2010
Dear Jennie,
Glad to hear school is going well. Thanks for the up date. Went back to grad school after many years found it a blast. Unlike undergrad where I was doing a lot of community and political work I still slogged for each grade just as in undergrad but this time did the homework read the readings and came away with a much more information and understanding. Been out of the country for about a month so it was nice to return and find your new post. Good Luck Kid, LC
Peggy
July 15, 2010
How’s the non-smoking?
S
July 15, 2010
Jennie!! So proud of you. Thanks for the update.
gaylin
July 15, 2010
I have faithfully checked every day and yahoo, you are back! I am impressed 100% by your brain.
pragmatic realist
July 15, 2010
I teach ethics at my local college as a part-timer. I would be very interested to read your ideas.
I am very very happy to read of your successes.
Lily
July 15, 2010
Congrats Jennie! You are such an inspiration. I knew you would rock college !!! Can’t wait for your book! Are you going to make some of your quizzes available to your readers ? I would so love to read your answers.
James
July 15, 2010
Thanks for posting. I have enjoyed the blog since you started it. Selfishly, I was sad when you stopped posting about the everyday details of you recovery. I have wondered how life is treating you and whether you were staying true to yourself. Thank you for the post that put a strangers mind at ease. I’m pulling for your success and am eager for your book. I enjoy a success story, even if it isn’t over. Good luck
Hellbob
July 15, 2010
Hey! Glad to hear from you again. Sounds like everything’s still right on track for you. That’s awesome! You mentioned looking for a job (which is hard, but necessary) which is a positive step. However, I was wondering what happened with the job you got through Drew at the end of Sober House? Just wondering.
Zephyr
July 15, 2010
You are doing great work.
A quote from John Muir
“I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.”
Stay focused.
Em
July 15, 2010
You’re amazing! A big hero of mine!
Joshua / ImpInMyHead
July 15, 2010
Damn. Sure hope Mr Man gets a whole bunch of really strong magnets. He’s going to need them to keep all those papers up on the fridge.:)
From what I could see from the papers’ comments, you’re more than just kicking ass. You’re kicking ass, taking names & filing the names away for future ass-kickery.
Don’t forget to switch feet every once in a while or else yer legs will get tired.:)
Steve
July 15, 2010
I’m thrilled to see you’re doing so well.
It really is an amazing feeling to make that commitment to your education, be successful in it, and enjoy it in the process.
It’s not a dream anymore. It’s turning into a reality. And if you give it all you’ve got like you have been, you’re going to fulfill that once-dream phenomenally.
Best of luck in the classes to come,
-Steve
Jon
July 15, 2010
Thanx for the update. Life beyond the party does exist for us. I just made 5 years off Meth on July 6th, and I was a serious meth cook. asIn the words of Aerosmith”It’s Amazing”, but I still hinge irt on JC’s “Grace”. Pun intended. Glad you are loving “real” life, instead of the Flash & Con version. Keep it up. U R AWESOME!
Blue
July 15, 2010
it was nice to hear from you… Maybe your back for good?? Hopefully you are doing all right.
firefall
July 16, 2010
Welcome back! It sounds like you are doing amazing well, and I do so envy you, to be meeting Odysseus the slippery and Socrates the eternal for the first time.
Since you’ve abandoned the dark horses for the white, Plato must ring pretty true for you.
denni
July 16, 2010
outstanding. keep up the good work. glad to see you are still doing well.
Tony
July 16, 2010
Jennie,
You are awesome! I knew you would do well as you were so determined… Keep rockin’!
Luke Sweetser
July 16, 2010
WOO-HOO!!! Jennie is in school to “kick ass and chew gum….and she’s all out of gum”.
Terence Irwin…loves Kant, Aristotle, and Plato, dislikes Hume, Machiavelli, Nietzche and the Existentialists but I still love his stuff on classical moral philosphy. Nice synthesis of Gödel’s avowed Platonism and his incompleteness theorems…that a system can be complete or consistent but it can’t be both. OK…enough from mr. nerd—enjoy the time in school…it’s a blessing
Oliver
July 16, 2010
Really, all you need to get a doctorate is a love of learning, and you already seem to possess that, so I’m sure it’ll be no problem 🙂 Best of Luck!
Melanie
July 16, 2010
I remember my first term of college sober, especially continuing to study my interests in psychology and philosophy. I was astounded and disappointed at certain things, but when the term was done and grades were in- I was proud and priviledged to have another opportunity at a life and an education. I was livid that, in sobriety, I had to study and take notes if I wanted good grades, but it taught my ADHD mind to finally pay attention. Good luck to you. And I enjoy reading your blog.
Steve
July 16, 2010
Hey! A Jennie sighting. I’m happy for you m’dear.
Davy
July 16, 2010
“Thank god,” you said.
Looks like ‘gravity’ fell by the wayside like Newton’s apple.
Johnny
July 16, 2010
Hey,Jennie! Good job! Glad to see u back!
jhoop
July 17, 2010
So glad to see you back. I had some serious withdraws without your blog but I was so happy to see you had posted. Your life sounds like it is as it should be, your life!! You didn’t mention smoking but I am sure you kicked that ass like you have all your other demons. So happy for you!!
Jacob C
July 17, 2010
FYI, Augustine was a person that tried to mesh so called pagan religions with what was supposed to be the true religion. In doing so he further muddied the waters for his own political gain – it was in his favor to try to include books into what is known as the Bible, in order to gain pagan approval. When you read some of the so-called apocryphal or even the gnostic texts, you will see that they speak extremely negatively not only about God, but about people, about how nobody is good. This undermines the very ability of people to do what is right, because it puts doubt in their mind that they can do anything good at all. Imagine if you were told you were nothing but a thief, or a whore, or a murderer, and that’s all you’ll ever be. Even if it’s not true, it’s detrimental to your self esteem and belief of ability for self-betterment. When I heard of some of the things included in the apocryphal writings, and in the gnostic writings, I was shocked. I mean apocryphal literally means not spoken out loud, and gnostic means hidden knowledge. Funny how these books are named that due to their shamefulness or so-called ability to open up what is hidden. It is a dangerous thing to tell someone you know the REAL facts about a matter, especially when the people involved in reading it don’t have the tools to refute what is said. It undermines very basic principles in the sphere of people who believe in Jesus (not just catholics).
Augustine didn’t do organized religion a favor, organized religion did HIM a favor for his political career in aquiescing (sp). It’s interesting what he said later on in his career, though… If you would like additional information on this topic, send me a line in my email and I’ll send you the 2 articles I’ve found interesting. Maybe it can help you with your studies, or just provide more background information.
Ancient history especially tied to religion is one of the favorite topics of mine. Take care, you!
canuckbok
July 27, 2010
Hmmm. Unlike this person, I’ve actually read Augustine (and the gnostic gospels) and can only say, in response, “huh”? Like most great thinkers, Augustine’s complexity (and his contradictions) belie reducing him to a slogan or cliche–even “the first sex addict” (;)). That’s why he continues to fascinate even post-modern and post-Christian philosophers.
canuckbok
July 27, 2010
A further thought: given your question, “Who in the world am I? Ah, That’s the great puzzle”, and the way you address it by owning your story, you might actually find Augustine an unlikely though congenial dialogue partner.
Jarni
July 17, 2010
“L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle…”
(the Love which moves the sun and the other stars)
Dante, Divine Commedy, XXXIII cantica
J
July 17, 2010
Great! Glad to see that you’re settling in to school.
Best
John Cargo
July 18, 2010
Congratulations Jennie. Enjoy these days. In fact, enjoy all your days. Enjoy the memories too.
I’m actually posting from a hotel in Sault Ste. Marie, MI (way up in the Upper Peninsula) attending an Alumni Reunion at LSSU. What wonderful times and memories.
Good luck with your job hunting and enjoy school. I wish you the best.
Rich
July 18, 2010
So glad to see your update. I have really missed your missives. Glad to hear that everything is going well for you. During my addiction I went from a 4.0 to a 2.8 in record time, how I even maintained that I will never know. What I do know is that being sober in Grad school was way better than drunk in undergrad. Not a 4.0, but I did well and actually learned something! Keep up the good work Jenny!
Tony
July 18, 2010
Little thing I noticed in the picture of your papers.
The professor of the class gave you the title of “Dr.” when it was graded.
It’s great to see that the break from the blog has been going well for you and your recovery, and as usual, it inspires me to make a better life for myself.
As always, I wish you the best in all of your endeavors. Keep kicking ass!
Zhen
July 18, 2010
Wow! 100%? Hopefully that inspires me to do similar things when I go off to college in August
Earl
July 22, 2010
You have only scratched the surface of what you are capable of achieving. All the best!
Thomas
July 22, 2010
Jenny… can I get a UCLA eight clap? You better start practicing! Good luck to you. You can do anything you want. I promise. So may people are rooting for you.. you go girl. – Thomas
Diana
July 22, 2010
Nice to see you back and so proud of you!
narcissists victim
July 24, 2010
;0)
you make me smile
Norman Rogers
July 26, 2010
Excellent work, young lady. You deserve to have excellent days. I’m pulling for you.
Scott...that one!
July 27, 2010
Good for you Woman! If you are exloring Christianity…I would recommend Catholiciam, since I was just married myself. But…like my grandma said…we all end up in heaven together!
Stephers
July 29, 2010
You don’t have to post this. I said that if you could do this, then I can pass that math class i’m struggling in. I am notoriously bad at math and so it’s really frustrating for me. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I scored an 82% on my last exam. Thanks for the inspiration!
freckledk
July 30, 2010
This post makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I can’t think of anyone who deserves such happiness more. Keep it going, Cookie! The very best of luck to you, in all of your endeavors.
oceanbreeze
August 1, 2010
I missed you on this blog. I am so impressed that you are going back to school, getting your life together, andd especially taking the time from your busy schedule to fill us in on your life!!!! In fact you have inspired me to go back to school myself. this fall i will be going to culinary school. it is something i have always wanted to do. good luck Jennie and wish me luck.
Joe Kilmartin
August 7, 2010
So very continually proud of you, Jenny.
You kick serious ass, lady.
Much love,
PJM
JuanLoco
August 29, 2010
J,
You are right on with school/learning providing structure and purpose…and productivity.
I got a late start on educating myself thru the institution known as “school,” but I went to Community, worked to pay for it, got an Associates, grants, scholarships and transferred to University with the goal that I need to finish my Political Science(with tons of philosophy and political theory)degree in two calendar years.
The goal was attained, and attainable, by embracing structure. I guess I could’ve draggged it out for a few more semesters, but I had shit called “life” to do. And I wanted to see if my supposed bad-ass work ethic and my ability to live like a monk were bullshit notions, they weren’t.
Read the Four Texts on Socrates. Written by his student Plato.