Already to hump day, it seems this week, she is a flying by. Monday was a bit of a fiasco, as it was supposed to be, but you were all right, and I did make it through. On campus, ready for class by 7:30am, sitting in on the 8:00am Physics class. Trying to crash an Anthropology course, failing miserably along with 45 other students who had the same intentions. Perhaps I should clarify somethings for the reader here, as there seems to be some confusion as to why I am even attempting to join these courses.
When I was at SDSU, I was a business major. I had met all the general education requirements to go on and be a junior as a business major, and the obvious happened. I fell in love with the party scene, became more involved with pornography (which made attending class difficult, quite the commute from San Diego State to Chatsworth Cali), and ended up dropping out of SDSU entirely with 56 credits completed. However, as those courses were geared toward the Bachelors in Business, and not Psychology, and as I was at a State school, and not a University of California, there are some additional classes I must take to fulfill the general education requirements for my selected major.
Now you may be thinking, why physics? Like Paul C commented, Physics is not quite as scary as it’s name makes it sound. In fact, I aced my high school Physics course, set the curve for the class, and excel in area’s where I can visually understand what we are doing mathematically. Another example is Geometry. I did incredibly well in high school Geometry, received the underclassmen Geometry Award from Campolindo as a sophomore. I am a very good student all around, and even if the Physics course I am trying to crash were calculus based, I would not worry as much as I would taking a pure Calculus course because the lab part of the class, in addition to the teachers style of lecturing- already he is standing on tables, dropping shit to the ground- makes it very easy to learn. Aside from that, I am not showing up stoned, which really interferes with my ability to process and comprehend numerical problems, and I am excited for it, which makes me want to understand it.
Again, some may be thinking “Why is Physics even required for a Psych major?” I didn’t decide it should be required, haha, if I had my way it would be all psychology courses. The schools I am trying to get into require these courses, UCLA and UC Berkeley are both science-based research schools, so it makes sense the IGETC (Intersegmental General Education Transfer Curriculum) would require some of these more primary science classes. IGETC provides a list of courses we can choose from, and we select which will best fit our needs/personalities/abilities. If I intended upon going to Cal State Northridge, I’d take a bit more fluffy classes, more Humanities-based. But I’ve already done the state school thing. And while taking fluffy classes sounds fun, it doesn’t sound challenging. I want to be challenged. I believe doing so will make me a better person. I am going to reserve my more fluffy classes for the minor, which I’m debating on right now. Contemplating a Women’s Studies minor, thinking it would be interesting to learn more about my gender, and the academic side of the life I live.
For instance, when I spoke at Harvard, kids told me they’d heard tons of lectures about how Pornography effects the viewer/audience/culture. Very few, if any, had lectured on how participating in pornography effects the actual person. There is a ton of academic feminist blah blah about what roles women play in the industry, whether they are consciously deciding to sell their bodies, should have that right etc. But very little about how it effects the women in the industry, as researched by a woman in the industry. I would like to be a part of that. Part of creating or adding to a new line of research where the women in the industry can actually have a voice in the academic world. But, one thing at a time, little Jennie. Lets just focus on this semester.
So Monday was brutal. I find out tomorrow morning if I get into the Physics course. There were nine students trying to crash the course, four spaces, so the teacher did a lotto and pulled names from a box. My name was called fifth. So if I show up tomorrow, and someone has decided that Physics is just not for them, I am the first one in after that first lotto cut off. It will be a brutal Thursday morning because tonight I am working till 2:00am, and the class starts at 8:00. I only have to stay for roll, stayed for the lab earlier this week. So I will know by 9:00am whether or not I am in the class. Either way, I’ve surrendered to the powers higher than myself. If I get in, it is something I can handle, as we are not given more than we can handle. If I don’t, it allows me to focus on the two classes I am already enrolled in. Which is also good.
My psychology course seems awesome so far. We’ve only had the opening day, but as soon as the class started, the professor began lecturing about how “If this is your semester from hell, this course is not for you.” She did everything in her power to make the room aware that this would not be a floating class- this is not a class you can come to without doing the reading or homework, and expect to make it through. Which excites me. I am looking for a class that is fully engaged. An actual community where learning and growth is fostered, instead of pushed along through the academic machine. I want to be challenged on my ideas, I want to interact with not only the teacher, but also the students around me, and I want to learn. It feels like it will be a good class for this.
So there it is. It’s so funny because I do feel like a kid again, another comment that had been left. I feel like this is the first real time around and that I am capable of deciding and creating my future. I feel present and accountable, which will dovetail into good grades and success in my studies. Most of all I feel ready and willing to ask for help. Which changes the entire structure of this incredible journey. So here we go. All together now. Flying into the conclusion of this first week with a smile and tired eyes. Big things my friends, big beautiful things.