Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day… I have a beautiful feeling, that this whole “spring is here” thing may not last. In any case, whether it is just these few days of summer and hot pavement beneath bare feet and open screen doors, I am enjoying them for what they are. A preview of what is to come, a sneak peak at this upcoming summer, that I’ve grown more and more anxious to enjoy. Perhaps that’s the student in me, screaming for a break, and perhaps that’s the beach girl in me, that needs sunshine, salt and sea air. I am ready for summer, for warm weather, and a little vacation. A vacation from myself, from school, and from writing?
No, not from writing. In fact, I’m feeling really good about the places this book is going. It’s amazing how a story begins to live and breath on the page, how I lived this entire lifetime without understanding the intensity and insanity of what was happening. Right now, I’m writing chapter 16 and it’s about my month and a half off, vacationing in Europe. Some of the choices I made baffle me. Some of the memories I’m having are mind blowing. I don’t think most women my age had traveled with an American man to Amsterdam, a Dutch man to Switzerland, run away from multiple French men in Paris and not been afraid of anything more than being loved. Wasn’t afraid of being alone. Wasn’t afraid of getting lost, or being broke, or hurt. Nope no no no siree, I was afraid of being loved.
Fears feel silly when I write them down on the page. And so far, I’ve well over one hundred fifty pages of silly fears.
Fear of being known.
Fear of abandoned.
Fear of failure.
Fear of success.
And so the writing process continues.
I had been shirking my twitter responsibilities, and was momentarily upset with the idea of being forced to tweet. Like someone is holding a gun to my head to create these brilliant and quirky one hundred forty character thoughts that would make people across the globe stop and think. Until yesterday, while studying for a Bio quiz, I had the idea of asking my Twitter friends to ask me Bio questions. So not only did Twitter become the biggest study group I’ve ever participated in, but it also became the quickest way to see what I don’t know, what I still need to study, and what I know and can easily and succinctly answer. Needless to say, I killed the Bio exam, thanks to the help I received from people online. But it kind of changed my relationship with this social networking thing. Like, perhaps I should take this a bit more seriously? Just maybe I should start really reaching out across the Twittersphere to see how social networking can change the way we interact and live. Tons of celebrities and pseudo-celebrities use it as a catalyst to fame and pseudo-fame because one day we have three hundred followers and the next we are Charlie Sheen with a few million. But can and should Twitter be used like Facebook is now being used across the Middle East? To bring the youth together under a common cause, a bigger cause than protesting the Go Daddy CEO? (And yes, I agree shooting elephants is NOT the answer…) I think one of the biggest concerns for our modern day youth is the incredible distance sweeping between actual persons as a result of social networking, texting, tweeting etc. But what if that action is able to bring us all back together, just like tweeting Bio questions helped form the ultimate study group and gave us all a common thing to talk about/bond over that was more important than what pussy Charlie Sheen is or isn’t winning. Shouldn’t the point of the Go Daddy CEO boo boo been to help endangered animals, and NOT to move our URL’s? Why isn’t the Ivory Coast a trending topic? When do we get to stop talking about Bieber and the Jonas Brothers? Just thoughts, random, mid-chapter, beautiful day thoughts.