I have taken on the most incredible adventure. No, not recovery of the kind may think, but of a larger recovery, a bigger plan, something so big and so large that it keeps me up at night with the potential good that may come of it.
I have decided to start a non-profit organization that focuses on healing rape trauma. In my feminist ethics class, we were asked to think about some ethical issue that has a potentially feminist slant. My issue is that there is one socially proscribed post-rape solution (to prosecute the offender), and that for the majority of women, this solution is not feasible. Women like myself, with a questionable sexual history, with an alcoholic history, with a tendency to blackout, will never be able to stand trial and be given a fair chance by a jury. Unfortunately, it’s not the way things work. So instead of trying to change the monster that is the legal system (something I am not equipped to do), I’m starting a website that is dedicated to exploring individuated post-rape solutions. Things like therapy, art, exercise, EMDR, etc… I want to provide a space and a place for women (and men) to discuss the actions they took to begin and continue the healing process. Statistically, one in three will be “raped, beaten, coerced into sex and otherwise abused,” in her lifetime, and that statistic is horrifying. There is an incredible stigma that comes with being raped, and if we do not prosecute, it’s there is a certain amount of shame that comes in that admittance. However, if nobody talks about it, and nobody discusses other ways to heal, how can the process begin?
I’ve found websites devoted to discussing the details of the rape, which is good in terms of letting it out but (I feel like) perhaps a bit troublesome. I don’t want this space to focus on the negative, or to re-traumatize visitors by opening a wound that time has begun to heal. I want it to be a solution based space devoted to recovery and healing. I feel like there are plenty of moments throughout the day where we can re-open old wounds, where we can get lost in our minds and hearts thinking of how terrible something has been. By prohibiting this new space from delving into the harmful details of (our shared) past, I am hoping to lay the foundation for recovery and healing that was not previously possible.
I actually wrote a super long paper about it all, which I have posted on the new site, and I may publish it here as well. Right now, I am in the process of site development. I’m going to use a simple format through wordpress, and because I like the structure of this blog (BecomingJennie), I’m going to use the same there. I am very excited about the potential of this space, and after the work on the site is done (sometime mid May?), I’ll hit publish and start the work on making it a non-profit organization. By then, school will be done and I can put all my efforts into creating this thing. I think it could be really incredible.
If you would like to be an early contributor and you have a personal, solution based share that you would feel comfortable posting, please send me an email at iennie@SurvivingRape.com You can leave your name, an alias, anonymous, whatever it is that you are comfortable leaving.
I’m looking for solution based shares, so please try to limit it to the solution.
If you want to or need to share your rape trauma story, which is the first and biggest step of your recovery, please reach out to one of the below websites to get help. The help is free, confidential and safe. You deserve to heal.
If you wish to give advice and are in an educated position to do so (MFT, LPCC, LCSW, Ph.D, Psy.D etc.), please make sure to frame the advice in an empathetic way, i.e. “My wish for you is that….(fill in advice).” There will be a page and space devoted to professional opinions and help as well as links to books, workbooks, workshops etc. I’d also love suggestions for anything you think should be added to the site.
I feel like this is the start of something much bigger than me. Thank you all for being here with me, supporting me, and now, letting me support you.
Free, safe and confidential help: Click any of the following links.